Torn // In Stereo (Jakob Delgado, Ethan Karpathy & Chris Lanzon)

60. |

// Jakob's point of view //

Surprisingly, things between Ethan and I haven't been awkward. Currently we're in the airport and our flight back to Sydney is due in about five minutes. Going back and facing Annabelle is what scares me the most. At least she'll think that's just because she cheated on me, right? In actual fact, I'm more scared that she doesn't know I cheated on her... And I can't tell her either. Maybe if we both felt the need to cheat, we shouldn't keep doing what we're doing.

It's sad how things can just fall out of place quicker than they fell into place. It's also sad how you can fall out of love with someone you loved the day before. The whole concept had never crossed my mind before, but I do have feelings for Ethan. I'm scared that they're just a weird phase I'm going through. They say young people like to experiment, right? I don't want to lead Ethan on like that. How are we supposed to be in a 'thing' without anyone knowing, anyway? It's obvious he doesn't want a relationship yet and I get that. He should make sure he's feeling okay about everything before he throws himself into the deep end.

"Are you okay?" Chris asks, but I don't let him break my thoughts. I nod and get back to thinking.

Ethan never said goodbye to Kaleb and I can tell he's just trying not to think about that whole situation. He told me word for word what Kaleb said and I honestly don't think I could look at him the same way again. How could someone say that about their own brother? If I told George something like that, he'd be completely fine with it. He'd be the kind of person who would make those little teasing gay jokes that I'd be okay with. We'd have a laugh but in the end, he'd always support me. If I ever told him about Ethan, he'd probably make an extra effort to get closer with him- he'd do the same he always did when I introduced girls to him; make sure she's not just playing me. It's no different and I don't why people have such a problem with that. Love is love, right?

As the flight is called, I'm forced to snap out of my thoughts. I make quick eye contact with Ethan, but I'm a little saddened to see him not smiling. His eyes look sad and I just want to do something about it. As childish as it sounds, I have an idea.

"Chris," I start. "You can have the window seat again if you want."

"Really?" Chris asks, his face lighting up. We'd agree that if Chris had the window on the way here, he'd have to sit in the middle.

"Yeah." I reply, looking at Ethan who has the tiniest smirk on his face. At least his eyes look happier, right? He's not looking at me, but he's still smiling at the ground, and that's enough for me.

I honestly think that now Ethan's let his emotions out, he's better. If only Kaleb had accepted it, though. If that was the case, Ethan would probably be incredibly happy. But having said that, he never would have come back that night crying. If that didn't happen, I would still be oblivious to what was going on. For some reason, every day I feel more glad that he did.

As we board the plane, we are given blankets and pillows. The flight leaves at 10:00pm here and arrives at 8pm there. (Idk the time zones tbh so just roll with it) I've never particularly liked flying, but I'm starting not to mind it. We get to fly business class and that means each little section is curtained off if we want it to be.

"Are you sure I can have the window seat again?" Chris asks, moving down our aisle.

"Yeah, it's fine." I reply. Ethan better be happy; I'm giving up my window seat for him.

We sit down with Chris on the window, me in the middle and Ethan on the aisle. Ethan's face breaks out into a second-long cheeky smile as he puts down his pillow before sitting down. 

When the plane starts to roll down the runway, I can't help but feel sad. It's as though we didn't spend enough time here actually doing things... I guess that's hard when you're only sixteen years old, but I feel bad now. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's regretting things. But then I realise; we're still just beginning our journey. Home is where we're going, but I know we'll end up back here one day.

•••

Two hours into the flight, I open my eyes. Sleeping on a plane isn't easy- especially when you're in the middle seat. I look to my left and see Chris completely asleep against the window. I then look to my right and see Ethan staring straight ahead at the seat in front of him. He's closed the curtain since I was last awake and I'm not sure if he's even trying to sleep or not. Either way, he looks sad. His blanket is draped over him so that I can't see his hands, but I trail my fingers down his arm until I find them. He instantly slips his fingers through mine and then he starts crying. I can tell he's trying to be silent and that he's fighting them back, but it isn't working. He's still squeezing my hand hard and staring ahead at the seat in front.

"It's okay." I whisper, not knowing what to say. He then breaks his stare at the seat and looks at me. It doesn't take a second for me to see the hurt and pain in his eyes.

Before I'm aware of what's happening, his lips are on mine and our hands are on each other's forearms. He quickly pulls away, wiping his tears with his arm and actually laughing the tiniest bit. His smile is actually what causes me to drop mine, because I remember who I have to see when I get back. Somehow, I don't think kissing Annabelle is going to feel the same anymore.

"Annabelle?" Ethan asks, somehow knowing what I was thinking about. He pulls his hands away and leans back into his pillow.

"I'll work it out, Etho." I whisper, sighing softly and leaning back against my own pillow.

"Don't break up with her."

"I want to." I reply, never feeling more confused.

"We'll talk later." He rushes as I feel Chris moving next to me. I quickly look to Ethan who's now got his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep.

"Are you okay?" Chris asks, yawning and leaning back against the window again. For some reason, I want to talk to Chris about Annabelle. How far does he think she would go?

"If I told you something, would you promise to not tell anyone? Not even the person involved?" I ask. I just hope Ethan doesn't think I'm about to tell Chris about us. He's still awake, but I bet he won't be for long.

"Of course."

"Um... Annabelle." I start, not realising how hard it is for me to actually say this out loud. When I told Ethan, it was sort of a spur of the moment thing.

"Annabelle what?" Chris asks, his facial expression confused and a little scared.

"Annabelle and Mike... She cheated on me." I start off slow but then just spit it out. Chris' eyes go wide with shock and a little bit of disbelief, not really believing it either.

"How do you know?"

"She called and told me. I mean, is it okay if I break up with her for this? Is that going too far? I just don't feel the same anymore-" I start, but I'm cut off by Ethan's head falling on my shoulder. I'm paranoid Chris is going to realise, but then I remember that we all fell asleep on each other every plane flight. Somehow, I think Ethan just did that to warn me not to say too much.

"No, Jake. She did something that isn't okay and she can't just get away with that. I mean, if you think the relationship could still work, maybe you could work it out. It sounds like you don't want to, though." Chris tells me, and I guess in a way he's right; I just don't want it anymore.