Alone

Chapter 16

I pulled the handle to the car door, letting my body drop into the seat of Harry's car. I'm now 4 months pregnant, and I already feel like a hippo. My hand rested on my round belly as I gave Harry a small smile, signaling for him to go.

Today was our first ultrasound. The ultrasound where we find out the sex of the baby. Baby. I'm not so used to calling it that. I'm more used to calling the baby an "it." My heart sped up just thinking about it. I know I shouldn't be, but I am excited. This whole time I've been telling myself that this isn't my baby. That its someone else's baby, I'm just giving birth to it...if that makes any sense.

I groaned as the nausea took over, squeezing my eyes shut. I felt Harry's large hand slip into mine, squeezing it comfortingly as I waited for the sickness to pass. Weird things trigger my nausea; whether it be car rides, my favorite perfume, and all kinds of foods and smells.

I rolled down the window, allowing the cool air to fill my lungs. My frown turned into a grin as I felt the "butterflies" again. Even though pregnancy is a pain, the one thing that I think is really cool is feeling a little human moving around inside me. Harry smiled softly at me while I rolled up my shirt, staring at my belly as the fluttering continued.

A content smile rested on my lips as I watched the world fly by. My eyes turned toward Harry, studying his silent figure as he focused on the road, tightly gripping the wheel. I frowned slightly as I thought about how much he's helped me. I've really lucked out. Not because I got pregnant. But because it was with Harry. Tears flooded my eyes as I thought of how things could have gone differently if Harry hasn't helped me so much. I sniffed quietly, quickly wiping away my tears. I don't know if these are real emotions, or hormones. I sort of cry...a lot. It's just hard to tell if its real or not.

I blushed a deep shade of red after finding I was still holding Harry's hand. I pulled it away quickly, slipping it into my lap and turning my focus away, my cheeks burning.

We rode in silence. A lot was on my mind, but I had nothing to say.

Finally the car rolled smoothly into the parking lot. I pulled the handle, my door swinging open. Harry's door slammed behind me as he jogged to my side, helping me up the curb. I smiled to myself. He takes good care of me.

Harry walked ahead, holding the door to the doctors office open as I stopped momentarily, looking up at the sky. Dark clouds had moved in place of the sun, a gentle breeze rising in the air. My eyes fluttered closed as tiny drops fell down upon my face, leaving tingles on my skin and sending chills through my body.

"Coming?"

I snapped out of my daydream, feeling like a small child as I giggled to myself. The air in the office felt thick and stale, much unlike the cool, crisp air outdoors. I jammed my thumb into the button; the elevator doors opened and Harry and I stepped in.

The doors soon slid open, and we found ourselves in the lobby. I've never been here before, but Jenna recommended it. Harry had insisted we change doctors after meeting the first one. Something about how the first doctor was too 'smug' and 'unprofessional'. Whatever.

I eased myself into a chair, Harry sitting down beside me. Several pregnant women sat around the room. One lady even had a toddler crawling around the floor.

Harry shifted around in his chair, crossing and uncrossing his legs while his fingers tapped on his chair.

Somehow his nervousness made me calmer. I hesitantly reached out my hand, quite surprised by my actions, entwining our fingers as he looked up at me.

"I'll be fine." I gave him a small smile. He responded by wrapping his heavy arm around my shoulders, pulling me in. My cheeks tingled as I rested my head on his shoulder. It's different with Harry. All my life I've been so...distant. I hated touching people, or when people hugged me. I've always refused to let anyone get close to me. Take Allie, for example. She was the perfect best friend. She was always there for me, always forgiving me. But ever since this pregnancy I've been pushing her out of my life. I can't remember the last time we talked...