Running Through the Dark

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

My life is so screwed up. I don't even know what to do anymore. There's always the option of suicide.... oh no, the last thing I need is for my depression to return. I wonder if there's a therapist around here that I could talk to. It'd probably be good for me.

"Anna... Anna....Anna banana fo fanna.... ANNA!"

I hadn't even realized that I had zoned out. Now Niall was waving his hand back in forth in front of my face.

"Um.... yeah..... I'm fine," I could tell that they weren't convinced but I watched as Niall returned to eating. Then I felt an arm snake around my back. I recognized the strong grip as Niall's. I nuzzled into his neck, no longer caring about the paparazzi or the fans. But for some stupid, unknown reason, I still cared about Dus. He's been nothing but a douche, and he still never leaves my mind. I'm gunna talk to him eventually. But in a few days. there's no way I can face him after what just happened.

After a while, Niall stopped eating (surprisingly) and we walked out of the restaurant only to go blind with white lights as we were crowded around. Niall held me tighter, and I nuzzled farther into his neck. I said I don't care about the paps but, truth is.... I do. They ruin everything. My eyes felt dry as a desert, but at the same time, salty tears dripped from my bloodshot eyes. The constant clicking of cameras didn't stop until they were quieted by us climbing in the black car. My tears, however, didn't stop, the whole way home. We pulled up to the flat and I saw Harry sitting crisscross applesauce in the back yard. He was wearing a baby blue beanie and a white v-neck shirt. He was wearing his favorite worn out gray sweats. The ones with the deep pockets that have the flannel lining that he likes so much. He was strumming on his guitar, I could see words floating through the air as his pink lips formed words. I climbed out of the car, finally pulling away from Niall. I quickly apologized for wetting his t-shirt and staining it with mascara, he just laughed, gave me a tight embrace and walked into the kitchen. I ran up to my room and started to change. I pulled on my black yoga pants and my cream colored crew neck. It had Pain written across it in black script letters. I looked down and smiled, a word that I hold dear to myself. A word that defines my life. I pulled a black beanie over my loose curls. and headed out the door to the back yard.

Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me

But bear this mind it was meant to be

And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks

And it all makes sense to me

I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile,

You've never loved your stomach or your thighs

The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine

But i'll love them endlessly

I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth

But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to

I'm in love with you and all these little things

You can't go to bed without a cup of tea

Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep

And all those conversations are the secrets that i keep

Though it makes no sense to me

I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape

You never want to know how much you weigh

You still have to squeeze into your jeans

But

You're perfect to me