WARNING: This chapter WILL contain very graphic depictions of suicide and death. If you are sensitive/triggered by these types of things, then I strongly suggest that you DO NOT read on! Thank you :)
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Isabella
Too many times now. Far too many I've attempts I've made to try and pick myself up, all of which have been futile.
I can't go on anymore.
There's no point in me fooling everyone and telling them that I'm recovering. Lord knows I've never recovered, just deteriorated ever so slowly. But now I'm done. So fucking done.
Every one of the doors is locked and no lights are on. I've dragged myself back to my house and into the empty garage. All that stands in front of me is a chair and a rope attached securely to the ceiling. On top of the seat is a small piece of paper and a pen that I decided to bring this time because I knew I was really going to do this.
Voices scream back and forth in my mind, yelling at me and telling me to go to Cameron, saying he'll save me and he'll fix me.
But if he hasn't fixed me by now, how long would it have taken him to bring me back for real?
"Note...paper...what do I say?" I stammer, tears flooding down my cheeks almost like a river. My shaky hands collect the paper and pen left on the chair and hold them closer to me, resting it on my knee to help me write.
11:09pm.
God damn, it's late.
But in that pressurizing moment I remembered the conversation Cameron and I had not that long ago.
"What do you believe in?"
"I believe in wishes. Especially at 11:11pm."
"You were my 11:11 wish, and look where that got me!"
11:11 wishes. How childish of me.
The pen hits the paper and I shakily write my final message to the only person who ever loved me. When I'm finished with my words, I fold the paper in half and keep it tucked tightly in my clenched fist.
One foot is placed up on the chair, then the other. I reach up for the rope, sobbing harder, and pull it over my head so it sits there on my neck.
Fall, Bella. Fall and it will all go away.
I hear my mother's voice say. God fucking damn it.
This doesn't make me have cold feet, I just continue anyway. I have to.
"This is it, Cam. There's no saving me this time," I say to myself, the edges of my toes hanging off the the rim of the chair, "I am so sorry."
And then it stopped. All the pain, guilt, hatred, gone in just a minute.
The note fluttered out of my gray, dead hand and the last thing I saw before I took my final breath were the words I hoped he would find.
'To my dearest Cameron, I'll be looking down on you until the day you join me up here. But for now, my 11:11 wish, for you to find your happiness in someone else.'
The clock ticking stops.
11:11pm.
YOU ARE READING
11:11 | Cameron Boyce Story
Fanfiction'She wished for me to be happy, but never felt the emotion herself. I was all she had, Bonnie, and she was my everything. Now that she's gone I have no interest in relationships. I don't hate you, okay? I just don't know how to like you.' *** WARNIN...
