She said the air is so clean. (Matty Healy fanfic)

17

Shopping with people that are well known is impossible.

We got stopped several times and we've only been here for about an hour.

A gorgeous girl stopped Matty and asked if she could have a photo. So of course I was the photographer.

Watching beautiful girls cling onto him and try to kiss him made me really uncomfortable.

"It will get easier." Adam whispers after Matty and George are pulled aside again.

"I hope. Would he be mad if I went home?" I giggle.

"Probably." He giggles.

Matty and George walk back to us.

"Im going to shave my head." I say as serious as possible, since Matty is staring at his phone.

"You're funny." He laughs. Then lifts his hand to my hair. "I like it like this."

I reach for his hand to hold it but he resists. What the hell. I feel so awkward and embarrassed.

"Im ready to go home. I'll walk, you guys finish. Matty will you hand me my bags?" I say. Ive only been to three shops and barely got anything.

He looks up from his phone. "Don't leave." He look at me sadly. "If you really want to Ill walk you, or drive you."

George and Adam turn into a store.

"Why do you want to go?" He asks moving to a bench.

"I don't want to not be able to talk to you, and hold your fucking hand while we walk." My eyes begin to water behind my sunglasses.

"You can talk to me, but no one can know about how close we are. My manager said its better if I stay single and disconnected." He says. I feel a pain in my stomach.

"Oh. So your manager is dictating our, whatever this is." I wave my hands around "I don't know if I want it to be anything if you're going to let him dictate 'how close we are' or can be." my tears begin falling.

He starts moving things around putting my three bags next to me on the bench.

"If you want out leave now. But know that I wont follow you if you walk away." He sighs. "We should've talked about this before."

"So you're giving up because I want to hold your hand?" I laugh. "Maybe it really isn't worth it. All we do is argue about what we are, or aren't."

I stand up.

"Id really appreciate it if you would walk me home, or drive me. Just know I care about you, and after we get to my place if you don't follow me in, just know I'm done." I mirror his statement.

He stands and takes the bags from me then shoots George a text saying he's walking me home.

-----

We walk in silence for at least 10 minutes. The orange sky is turning black.

"Sorry." He says.

"What?" I say acting like I didn't hear him.

He looks around to see if anyone is watching then wraps his arms around my neck and kisses me, dropping our bags.

"I said, I'm sorry." He whispers. Then picks the bags up then reaches for my hand.

I gladly take it. I feel so accomplished.

"What are we?" I laugh.

"What do you want us to be?" He asks.

"I want us to be us." I giggle. "I want us to be happy, funny, strong and in love. We've already established that we make each other happy, and I'm fucking hilarious so funny is down."

"I want us to be exclusive. Strength is my weakness babe, plus I'm the funny one" he giggles and knocks into me. "I like your idea."

"I like your add on, and your face." I smirk. "Shit, i like you."

"So we are going to be an exclusive, happy, strong, funny, and in love us?" He laughs. "I like you and your face even more J."

"Sounds good to me."

I pull out my phone, as I felt it ring in my pocket. Its christian.

"Chrissy!"

"Hey babe! What are you doing tonight? I was thinking me and lex could come with a bottle and hang out like we used to."

"By that you mean you and lex are sitting on my couch with a bottle of tequila, right?"

"Basically." He laughs.

"Matty's with me, so you need to be cool with that. If you're not then I'll figure it out when i get there."

"Neither of us approve, but we can try for you." He says annoyed.

"Okay, we will be there in 5. Love you."

"You too sweet cheeks."

I place my phone back in my purse.

"Who was that?"  Matty says rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.

"Christian, my friend. Him and lex are at my house and want to drink." I look at him. "You don't have to stay but I want you too."

"Okay. But i have to be out early tomorrow, I have an interview." He pulls a cigarette out of his pocket. "You can come along if you want."

I smile and pull him into me. "Only if you want me to. Hand me one?" I say nodding at the white stick.

He hands me one and i light both of ours.

"Id be more than happy to have you there." He smiles and kisses the top of my head.