She said the air is so clean. (Matty Healy fanfic)

39

Mattys Pov

The hospital smells so wretched. Its so stale and bland. I sit next to her bed. Shes pale.

The machines beep. I look down at her wrists that are wrapped in bandages. Then back to her to pale face.

She looks so peacefully disturbed. Slightly furrowed brow, still puffy eyes, dark circles, washed out cheeks and greasy hair.

Even in such a state she is still so beautifully peaceful.

I run my calloused fingers against her warm skin and sigh.

"Hey." I hear her now raspy voice break the deafening sounds of this sterile place.

"Hey" I crack the smallest smile humanly possible, I love her but she doesn't seem to love me. If she did she wouldn't have done this.

"How long was I out?"

"I found you yesterday night. Its.." I look down at my phone "7:45pm now." I stare down at my own hands.

"Can you get me some water?" She asks as if the air she breathed were razor cutting past her throat.

"Yeah." I stand slowly and stretch.

"Im not going to apologize." She frowns up at me.

"I know that." I shrug. "Don't expect much out of you right now."

"Did you get the note?" She says her eyes now closed as I adjust my shoes.

"Yes." I feel a lump in the back of throat. "Now isn't the time. Ill get water and the doctor." I say smoothly and step out.

I walk to a counter and tell them shes awake, and wants water. They tell me they will handle it then I walk to the lifts. I need a fag, and to make a phone call.

__

When I get outside I light a cigarette and pull out my phone. I dial Georges number.

"Hey mate." His voice sounds mellow and deep.

"She's awake. I don't fucking know what to even say to her."

"What do you want for your future?" He asks confusing me slightly.

"Her. Us. I don't know, I want to act like it never happened." I shrug and inhale smoke.

"Tell her that. Let her know how you feel, oh and Matthew?"

"Yes?"

"Make sure she promises to never do it again." He says sweetly.

"Deal." I nod and hang up.

I drop my cigarette and step on it.

__

Once I get back to the room Jules is sitting cross legged on the bed sipping slowly on water.

"Didn't think you were coming back." She admits with a full look in her eyes.

"I'll always com back." I smile and sit next to her. "Why did you do it?" I choke out softly.

"I have my reasons." She says quietly and rests her forehead on my shoulder.

A single tear trickles down my face.

"Please don't ever do that to me again." My voice cracks slightly, which shocks me. Im trying with all my strength to remain composed.

"Okay." She nods into my skin and i feel her tears make my skin wet.

I pull her chin up and grab the sides of her face. My thumbs sweep her cheeks wiping the tears, then I kiss her softly.

"You almost killed me, by killing yourself." I sigh into her lips and rest my forehead against hers.

She opens her eyes to meet my gaze.

"Oh Matty, I've been dead since you met me." She sighs back and kisses my nose.

"As was I, but you brought me back to life." I smile and wrap my arms around her small frame.

__
(Next day..)

"When do I get out of this dump?" She giggles

"When they say you're sane." I laugh back.

"You need to go and shower you smell." She says and pulls me closer to her on the bed.

"Oh love, I think thats your stench." I laugh and kiss the top of her head.

"I want a shower and real food." She grins. "And weed. Maybe a cigarette. I want out of here."

"Blame yourself." I frown and scrape my finger tips along the tape of her bandages.

She frowns down at the contact and follows my touch with her own.

"Does it hurt?" I ask calmly

"Physically yes." She shrugs "does anyone else know im here?"

"Just George. I knew you wouldn't want it to be broadcasted to the world. Be glad no paps have seen me in and out the past few days." I say distantly as I trace her small tattoo on her finger.

"That would be hell." She says monotone.

"Agreed." I say in the same tone.

____

A/n
Was gonna make it longer but im tired, and this chapter is a semi filler. Excuse my mistakes im tired and have fake nails on so typing is a struggle. Also cant find my glasses.

OMG THE LOVE ME VIDEO'

I die.