Fear, And Loathing In Las Vegas: Kyoga No Gakuen

16. Minami's Night Out, Native Cavemen, And A Hotdog With Ketchup

(Minami POV)

-In The Evening, After Chasing Taiki-

Ugh, why do I still feel like shit?? This has got to be the worst day of my life, besides, I wasn't able to go home, having been sleeping in the school ever since I chased Taiki, and that damn sprite is FUCKING POISON!!!!!!! But now at least I'm able to get out of the school, and well, it's gonna be even worse than Harold & Kumar, speaking of H&K, I'm with them right now

Harold: "Dude, since when did that jackass make his own coke??"

Kumar: "Yeah, that must be sick!"

Goddamn it, Kumar has been LAUGHING HIS ASS OUT ever since he heard of the incident-

Harold: "Dude you look a little blue."

Me: "Oh shit I gotta throw up!"

We stopped in a nearby cave, good thing there's no bear

Kumar: "HURRY UP ASSHOLE!!!!"

Me: "SHUT THE FUCK UP RUSSELL PETERS!!!"

Harold: "Pfft holy shit that hurts."

Kumar: "Since when did I look like Russell Peters?!"

Kumar kept on yelling until I couldn't hear him, then I went inside the cave, then I threw up until it's all gone

Me: "Much better."

Then suddenly, a torch was in the wall, lighting everything inside, well, you couldn't believe what I just saw

Me: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT..."

(Harold POV)

Well, it's been a minute since Minami-

???: "GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Well, for some reason a really funny song was playing on the radio, and the next thing I saw was Minami running for his life, with AN ARMY OF FUCKING CAVEMEN behind him, armed with wooden spears, and with almost no clothes

Minami: "GUYS HELP!!!!!!!!!!!"

Cavemen: "AYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE RAPIDO RAPIDO RAPIDO!!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "And they speak Spanish..."

Kumar: "Get in!!!!!!"

Minami got in, and we drove for our life

(Minami POV)

Holy fucking shit, that was fucking close, I can't believe cavemen still exists

Kumar: "Next stop, to Kyoga Fancy Mall!!!!!!!"

Me: "No way I'm going there, the Fancy Assholes are there."

Harold: "Don't worry, Neil will find them off, he's probably having a pack of shrooms right now."

Me: "Wait, the normal one or your drunken buddy??"

Harold: "Drunk, and keep note, ever since he got that role in the Smurfs, he's gonna have hallucinations of having fun with them."

Me: "No shit Sherlock."

Well, to the mall...

-In Kyoga Fancy Mall-

We were just in the food court until Neil showed up, with a Smurf stuff toy sitting on his shoulder, I think that was supposed to be Papa Smurf

Me: "Hey Neil."

Kumar: "Where the fuck is the weed?!?!"

Harold: "Kumar, shut up."

Neil: "It's all here."

He raised a bag of marijuana, well, I think I want it

Me: "Oh hell yeah."

I leaned near the bag until Neil slapped me

Neil: "Get away Gargamel!"

Me: "WHAT?! SINCE WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU THOUGHT I WAS GARGAMEL?!?!?!"

Neil: "I'm gonna protect Papa form you!!!"

I took the Smurf plush toy, ripped it, and threw it in the trash can

Me: "FUCK YOU!"

I then walked away, and spotted Kēi and Taiki, I walked to them

Me: "Oh Taiki, I've been looking for you, bastard."

Kēi: "Hey Minami! Where have you been??"

Me: "Didn't feel well, anyway, you guys have any money??"

Taiki: "Snack's on me!"

Kēi: "OH YEAH!!!"

Me: "Forget it."

Kēi: "Hey what about your order??"

Me: "I lost my appetite..."

Kēi: "Oh, hey Taiki, my order will be a hotdog with ketchup, okay??"

Taiki: "Sure!"

Kēi: "Let's go Minami!!!!!!"

Me and Kēi walked to a table, and the moment we sat on it, I gave him some advice

Me: "Next time, don't trust Taiki."

Kēi: "Why-

Taiki: "Here's your order!!!!"

Kēi: "Finally, ITS HERE!!!!!!!!"

(Kēi POV)

It's finally here, can't wait to eat it!!

Minami: "Your gonna regret this..."

Me: "Really? It looks good."

I took a bite, and it feels, hot for some reason, almost like, OH NO

(Minami POV)

Oh dear, he took the bite, here goes nothing...

Kēi: "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "I told you, your gonna regret this..."

Kēi: "FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A FUCKING CHILI DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Taiki: "Oops..."

Kēi: "TAIKI I TOLD YOU TO BUY A HOTDOG WITH KETCHUP NOT A CHILI DOG!!!!"

Taiki: "Their ketchup packets are made of stretchy foil, it's impossible to open then, good thing a chili dog already has ketchup."

Kēi: "THIS ISNT FUCKING KETCHUP YOU DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "I'm out of here."

I left the two, and their not planning on stopping their stupid argument, EVER...

TO BE CONTINUED