THIS LIFE #wattys2015 #JustWriteIt

8

Photo of Emma Robertson ~

Mathew's POV

Staring at my wife every morning could never get old to me, its been about four and half years of bliss. I felt blessed that I got to meet her and marry her.

The irony was that I was going to quit the library the next day, but I met her and my life changed. I don't know what she felt when our eyes first connected, but I felt this spark run through my body.

This was unusual for me because at that time I was going through a three year funk of a disinterest to women. I didn't really think I was gay, but at that time of my life the ladies did not appeal to me.

It started at the beginning of my plan to get fit, I'm not saying that I was unhealthy. But I didn't feel like i was one hundred percent at all times. I wasn't putting my best foot forward, more like slumming through life waiting for something. But that year I chose to write the story of my life instead of waiting for fate. I joined a gym, got a trainer, went on a regimented diet plan. All of these life changes but I was still living the same life.

That was when I was twenty nine, now at thirty four I can't imagine my life any different. I still kept the disciplines of my old life, but now I have a beautiful women by my side.

Looking at the alarm clock, it read nine thirty. That means I had twenty minutes to get ready and ten for breakfast. Kissing Emma on the neck before rolling out the bed, I started my morning routine.
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Getting my tattoos was probably one of the life changing events in my life. Most men would get skulls and manly tattoos, but I chose to get intricate nature tattoos. Most people when they see my tattoos and facial hair they think I'm a low level criminal, even walking into stores is a struggle.

First date with Emma, I was a bit worried about her not liking my tattoos or her thinking I'm a stereotype. I am just a nerd who is enthusiastic about body art. I don't know where I got hooked but the idea that I can put something meaningful and beautiful on my body for the rest of my life, that just resided well with me.

Getting asked out by Emma was exciting but having to plan a romantic date was nerve wracking. In the end I chose to go to a picnic concert, it was going to be sunny day and warm breezy evening.

We laid on the blanket hours after the show was over and the audience left. We talked about inconsequential things and I felt like she got to know the real me. The funniest part was when she gasped at my age, I didn't think much of it. Later on this caused many problems  between us  since we have a four year age gap. Emma felt like i wasn't mature enough for her, but I feel like I've proved myself over that year.

After a year and a half of dating, I just knew this was the women I wanted to marry. I haven't loved anyone as much since my mother.
Knowing I had to pop the question, I knew it would change my life. So I decided to get on board and quit my job at the library, I want on the job search and decided to put my expensive degree to good use.

Now sitting in my office, I can't believe how well my life has turned out. Five years ago if you'd told me I would have a wife and be working at a company, I wouldn't believe you. In my early twenties I went through a faze of anti-corporation, campaigning against big business and fighting for the small business owners. This radical part of my life ended quickly when my grandfather told me he needed help at the shop. I couldn't believe how many changes have happened in my life in less than a decade.

Today Emma was working from home, so I knew I would go home early to spend time with her. This time of year she was usually busy at the gallery.

Packing up files and unfinished work i shoved them all in my briefcase. The weather was cloudy, you could practically smell the storm coming. Walking out the building to the company parking lot, i drove my car back to our house.
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Emma's POV

I've been pacing in the living room since four in the evening, Matt was about to come home and I knew in my gut I had to tell him. This wasn't in the plan, this was just me going rogue. I could just picture Charlotte and Robert's faces when we meet tomorrow and tell them what what I did, what I'm about to do.

Matthew has become my best friend in these past five years, our "anniversary" was coming up and I couldn't go through another one. It wasn't him or anything, I just wanted to experience all of this with someone else. Someone who knows who I am, I just want this to end. These past couple of years this type of depression has taken over my life. This dread that I feel every morning when I pretend to be asleep while Mathew kisses my neck, sharing all of his love with a fake person.

All afternoon I sat at my home desk trying to figure out how to start the dialogue. I am going to complete this mission, but I'm going to do it my way. The original mission I had to just stop Paul, now I have to kill him. In the beginning I stressed how important it was that I keep my morals, but in the end after months of training my soul died. I don't even remember the old me, all I know is Emma Robertson.

*click*

I heard the door start to open, so I made my way to the hallway. Mathew's face just looked so happy, full of glow. I didn't want to ruin his mood, but I had to end this.

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