THIS LIFE #wattys2015 #JustWriteIt

13

MATHEW'S POV

Swinging in this park just made me realize how chilly it was getting in d.c. I remember when this time of the year it was still warm, the birds were still out. Guess this was what the weather man was referring to when he rants on about global warming effecting the planet. Now I am a science geek but an hour long rant about a subject that humanity can't change now is just useless.

Today was one of those days when the sun was beaming in your face but the wind was just as powerful. There wasn't a cloud in the sky but it felt like it was going to rain.

Sitting at this angle gave me a great view of the man who raised me. Was I really about to turn my back on him? Could I do even go through with whatever plan Emma had in store for him?

I didn't have all the answers figured out in my head but I had an image of Emma and I growing old together.

Paul was smoking his pipe while swinging which was just a contradiction to me. Seeing him smoke just keeps reminding me of Valerie's died, after her death he went into a deep depression. Drinking and cigarettes were his choice of therapy and I didn't have the heart to tell him how much he effected my childhood. The warmth and love of the household drained out as his addictions grew. Now at the age of seventy five he's successfully ended on of those addictions, but smoking was a habit that was permanent. I've had multiple conversations with him about the future, what if I had children would he quit for their health? But still he refuses to quit, I think he just wants to live in his depression until death and I don't know how to stop him.

Extending my leg in a weird angle I kicked him in the shin just like when I was young, "hey stop smoking there are kids around."

Taking his pipe out of his mouth he blew out an extra long exhale, "Does it look like I give a fuck son?" He pointedly said.

Rilling my eyes at him, I turned back to look at the kids who looked like siblings, looking at children always makes me think about having my own. I know its weird or some might say unmanly to be thinking about having kids, but I want a whole baseball team. Thinking of my dreams reminds me of the fact that they will never happen, Emma might not even want to stay with me after whatever she's doing.

"Whats yo problem boy?" Paul said while spitting in the ground.

"I think me and Emma are having some problems pops." As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it, his rupr about being called any name that claims him as my father is a no no. Picking up his cane paul slammed it into my gut.

"What I tell you boy, call me that again I'll get my match out." He threatened.

Retreating away from him remembering my childhood when I used to yell around the house papa while he chased me.

"Get back here boy let's talk bout yo Emma." He yelled.

Coming back and sat down on the swing, "I wouldn't say that they could be fixed." I replied.

"Anything can be fixed, what she got her panties in a twist bout?"

"I can't tell you."

Spitting as a sign of feeling disrespected, he replied "who you think I am boy? Not the man who wiped yo big ass? Huh, did I do that all for free?"

"No its just that..."

"Well I guess we aren't having a real truthful conversation, so I'll just take my old ass self away cause I'm apparently useless." Grabbing his cane for support paul starting getting himself off of the swing.

Grabbing Paul's forearm and nicely pushing him back into the swing, "I'm sorry OK I'm just not allowed to tell you. I'm really sorry I would love to tell you."

"Son just give me a clue so I can help."

Caving in whenever he uses that voice on, "well I think she's lying to me."

"Of course women lie all the time", turning to Matt with a sarcastic smirk on his face "its just the circle of life son." He sympathetically said.

"What do I do about it?"

"Nothing just watch her and listen when he say where she's going, maybe you'll catch her in the act."

Shaking my head along pretending like I was absorbing this information, but I just want to move this conversation towards what he knows. I don't have proof that he knows, but he is way to chill about this situation. "But what do you think she's lying about?"

"Maybe she's fucking her coworker?" He shrugs.

"I don't know, seriously do you have any clue on why she would be acting weird around me?" I pleaded.

Turning in his swing to angle his body towards me, "why you think I have something to do with this boy?"

Wow he catches on fast I thought, "no reason just your always there for me when I don't know what's happening or need help. I just always think of you as my first option for advice."

Dismissing his suspicions, "its okey son, I know your brain must be turning a mile a minute but just relax. It might just be nothing."

Shaking my head I drop the subject maybe she is wrong. Emma might hav it wrong, my loving grandfather could and never be a criminal.

I would know, I think......

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