Glacialus Sub Ubi (Bleach Fanfic)

Prolog

Disclaimer - I don't own Bleach.

Toshiro stared at the ceiling of the fourth division, his feelings twisting around in his head. With the events that had happened, he wasn't at all sure what to think, because truth of the matter was, everything hurt, with a buildup of both good and bad feelings. His mind was trying to discern exactly what to think of what had happened.

It had all started between him and Matsumoto, with the fukutaicho he had trusted so much, suddenly losing it. He was actually surprised that she hadn't lost it sooner, what with her childhood friend taking off as he had, to join up with Aizen. It was quite a bit of bittersweet, the melody playing through his head, as he tried to comprehend her pain.

Yet he found he couldn't and instead found himself focusing on the fact that Matsumoto was officially going to be charged with child abuse, for what she had done to him. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do, truth be told. It was likely that the person who was most like his mother in his entire life, was going to be taken away from him, permanently.

She may have lost it, but even he knew, good parents sometimes did things that they didn't want to do, and that was exactly what had happened. Matsumoto happened to have a mental break down, when she thought that he, of all people, happened to freeze her underwear. Of course, she would, as he had done it a long time ago, when his taicho was still his taicho.

So, he knew that they needed some time away from each other, so that they could heal. He would have rather though, she hadn't gone and turned herself in, and that they would have been able to convince Rukia, Ichigo and Unohana not to say anything to anyone. Yet, there was the fact that she had in fact gone and turned herself in, for her over indulgence in spanking him.

And Ichigo had seen fit to go and tell his father about what had happened. Yes, Isshin, his former taicho had been brought into this mess, because Ichigo couldn't keep his mouth shut. That was a typical, Kurosaki thing to do, to butt into other people's business, and force you to be a part of their life, though Toshiro had to think it wasn't always such a bad thing.

Finding out that Isshin was the substitute reaper's father, explained many things, however, it had left him feeling empty. At first, it had been as if he was just a surrogate, who wasn't at all important. He had tried explaining that it would have been best for everyone if Isshin hadn't come, especially because Ichigo and Karin still needed their father.

But then came the statement that had completely shocked him, given out by both the Kurosaki males. Toshiro was a part of their family, whether he wanted to be or not, and they would not be expecting a no for an answer. He even was told that Isshin's wife had considered him one of her own. That had come as a complete shock.

Instead of the just the nice sense of belonging, it had made him come to feel as if… he was one of those children stolen away from their parents, not allowed to touch, or feel, or be a part of the story. He wanted to reach for that opposite feeling, but found that he couldn't. It just wasn't obtainable.

As he lay on the bed, the moon shining through the window, his mind happened onto the comment that Isshin had made, about how Karin would have likely kicked his butt, if he hadn't come to help Toshiro. If something happened to the old man, Toshiro was quite sure it would be his butt being kicked by the irate girl, if anything happened.

And if anything did happen, like an execution, Toshiro would just let her have her way with him. Speaking to no one in particular, not even his zampaktuo, he spoke aloud. "Taicho… please… don't leave me again…"

Note - This was originally written as a one-shot but turned into a chaptered fanfic. The title is a "pun" using Roman Latin and the English translation. The inspiration for this story is "As Told by Ginger".