Aftermath

Chapter 20-"Fall, Lou. I'll Catch You."

Chapter 20

"I wish it were that simple, Voss, I really do. Maybe if I was younger, or if I didn't know how the real world works, I could play along for a while."

"Lover, you don't need to worry. I'll take care of you now."

"Those are just empty words, Voss. Carter once said the exact same thing to me." She hadn't wanted to hurt him with by bringing Carter into this, but Voss needed to wake up to reality. "Life's wore me down. I can't afford to break my heart open again. I'm still not over Carter. I'm sorry to say his name to you when I'm standing in front of you wearing nothing but a pillow. I feel like a cheating whore right about now for saying his name to you, but that's also true. My husband's only been gone for seven months. We'd been together since I was sixteen. I can't just go start sleeping around with my friends. I'm sorry, Voss, I'm just not built that way." Tears were flowing down her face. She retreated backwards to the bathroom dragging her suitcase and closed the door.

Lou cried a bit more in the shower and then forced herself to shut the tears down. Her decision was the right decision she repeated in herself staring in the mirror as she blow dried her hair and dressed in a simple summer dress that she had bought two years ago. Voss was a kind, generous man who would never take advantage of her, so once they smoothed this little bump out, all could go back to normal between them...other than the fact that her lady parts were tingling still from the remembrance of his face between her legs, and the feel of his whisker burn on the inside of her thighs.

She repacked her bag and hauled it down stairs and made her way to the kitchen. Just be brave and breathe, she told herself.

Voss was in the kitchen on the phone pacing back and forth as he talked. He stopped talking and turned to her and smiled. "I have to go." He ended his phone call.

"You look great, Lou." Voss slowly stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her sweetly on the mouth. Clearly they would have to work their way back to friend boundaries.

She had her hand up, resting lightly against his soft cotton t-shirt. "Thanks, Voss, so do you." She patted his chest playfully, not seductively, sending the message that they were now getting back to friendly hugs and hand shacks. "I was wondering if you could call Sam or Hamilton for me and see what time my appointment is."

"I just talked to both, they are meeting us for lunch and then Hamilton suggested that you may want to go back to his office with him."

"Great." She patted his chest again, this time to signal to him to let her out of his arms, but he ignored her non-verbal cue.

"You want something to eat? I picked up fresh bagels."

"Sure, thanks."

He at last released her to go and make her a toasted bagel and pour her a fresh coffee. Voss paced nervously on the other side of the counter as she ate.

"I can't think of any right way to say something, so I think I'll just come out and say it. Don't be angry with me, ok? I just need you to know first how sorry I am."

"K, Voss, you're officially acting weird."

Please no more love talk of them being together.

He reached across the counter, took her hand, looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Lou, the condom last night broke."

Her eyes went so wide they nearly fell out. She sucked in a sharp breath and held it. Her body came over with a cold sweat. "No what I was expecting."

"When I noticed after I took it off, you were already asleep...you looked so beautiful and at peace."

'Holy Toledo, this is not happening, this is all she needs.'