The diary of a fiend

This is me

This is me.
Go ahead and look
I already know you're question me
Battering me.
Wondering how someone like I
Can ever be apart of this fantasy you made
I have bad news it all lies.
But I can help and take that away.
I'll show you the borrow of a kid
Who had his dreams taken away.
Stolen
Given and forgotten about.
I'll tell her name as long as you don't say it out loud.
Rose.
She was so beautiful you know?
The only girl who ever told me I amounted to anything.
Made me believe that a oej was mightier than any
Needle
Or injection.
Stop my drug and illegal paraphernalia collection
That was raging on inside my body.
I was ready to let go
And let the virus consumes what was left and die in me.
But she was a saint.
And that's why I can't blame her for letting me go.
No one wants a train wreck to follow them home.
And these poems and rhymes you read.
They'll speak of girls and her
And how they ended up
Becoming apart of me.
Let's not stop there
Let me tell you the problems I had at home.
Father never really liked me and that I know.
Mother can barely trust me and I gave her good intentions not too
Family sees me as the black sheep
Because I'm so estranged that they consider me
To be a stranger
A danger.
A little bit I am.
I hope that dope sickness.
I'll tell you day in and day out about my problems
With self image.
And the girl who looks like her.
That doppelganger that seems absurd.
Chasing clouds like dreams
Money truly doesn't mean anything to me.
Friends who come and go
And the only two who seem to stick around me
And that's the only to give up all this crap you see,
You'll read later on.
About how I am a nervous wreck
And only like it when I am wrong.
I hope this poem truly does help
Explain myself.
And if not.
I'll be honest
In all my calmness
I'll say.
Magical words that sounds like white rain.
Go fuck yourself.