The diary of a fiend

I'm a mess

These words...
Th...
They are just made up..
No need to.. To speak it...
Because they aren't real...
Its a lie I tell myself...
To fully comprehend the shame...
Within thyself...
Father constantly howls at me...
I usually give the fuck you look but...
I wanna know...
Wh... What did I do?
What made you hate me?
My mother.. She...
She thinks me a child...
That's nice to know but...
Mother you're driving me...
So far away
That I can think of days
Where I'm going to let my answering machine play
And hear
Four miss calls
All of them
Tearing me apart...
And I don't pick up the phone...
Because I know...
I'll upset you so...
I see my future...
Many lovers but no one to tie a knot with
Because I'm afraid of commitment...
I'll just fuck her life up like I did mine...
I... I don't know what I want anymore mom and dad...
I just feel so alone and...
And I guess..
This time.
No can help me redefine.
What's wrong with me this time...