Love Me for Me

Chapter Seventeen

Did this man just say I was fucking pregnant? I mean it would definitely explain my the symptoms I have been having, but being pregnant is something else completely. All these years I have struggled to raise Ciara and Rico and just when I get myself to an almost stable point I get fucking pregnant. Not to mention the last time I was pregnant I went through everything alone and now the anxiety of Hayden leaving me filled my body and thoughts. I felt the need to leave him before he had the chance to leave me first. I didn't know what to think or how to act I just wanted to cry. I couldn't go through this again; the pain, the heart ache, and the loneliness was too much to bare a second time.

"Hey," Hayden said lifting up my chin to face him. "Whatever you are thinking you are wrong."

"I-I don't know how I'm going to do this again Hayden."

"We will do it together I promise. I will be by your side every step of the way I promise."

"But what if something happens and then you don't want to be there, I can't go through that Hayden," I said letting the tears finally flow freely. "Listen to me Annalisa I am not that guy, I am not Kyle. I keep trying to tell you that and yo ass keep treating me like I am and I'm getting fucking tired of it. Now I understand this is a shock but damn am I that bad of guy that you don't wanna have my damn baby." I just sat there as he yelled at me trying to take in what he was saying. I wanted to respond but I didn't know how so I just stayed quiet.

"Well, Ms. Johnson this is your prescription you can get it filled at the pharmacy on the fourth floor. I also need you to make sure you stay rested and watch your stress levels," he said handing over the papers. I took the papers nodding. When he finally left I got dressed and went to get my medicine. At this point I was in a numb state so everything I was doing was just movements. I didn't know how to act around Hayden anymore and I could tell he was mad at me so I just came to conclusion that I needed to just stay quiet. After we got the medicine we headed home and let me tell you that ride was the most awkward ride ever. Once we arrived home I just got out and went inside leaving him to do whatever he wanted. Honestly I was kind of mad at him but didn't know why but at the same time I understood why he was so upset. I was just confused.

"Anna I know what I want to do for my birthday," Ciara yelled running up to me. "Well, how about you tell me while I make me a sandwich," I said grabbing her hand and going into the kitchen.

"Hey lil bit why don't you let me talk to your sister and while you go mess with Hayden. You know all you gotta do is bat them eyelashes like I taught you and he will give you whatever your little heart wants."

"Right," Ciara said running out like she was on a mission. "Why does everyone spoil her," I asked shaking my head. "You don't know how long it has been before we have had a child excited as her around. She brightens everyone's day when she is around."

"Yea especially when you give her sugar."

"Well, I want to take her to the restaurant with me some days, I can teach her how to cook."

"Fine with me. All she do all day is sit around eating and watching TV."

"Now that is settled tell me why you and Hayden came in like someone shot your damn dog."

"We went to the doctor today to see what was wrong with me and we find out I am pregnant."

"And let me guess you not happy about that," she said sitting down. "To be honest I don't know Momma J. I just know I can't go through this alone again. Hell I don't even know where or who my first child is."

"Why don't you try to find out?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why don't you and Hayden find your first child and see how she is doing. Maybe that will be your closure and let you come to terms with what's happening now. But while that is happening you can't treat that boy in there like he is the bad guy. He has wanted a child since his mom died and I know he so happy it is with you. Don't make this joyous moment a bad one." I nodded trying to think about her words and just decided I needed to take a nap. I needed to rest and I could feel my stress levels rising. As I was walking upstairs I saw Ciara talking Hayden's ear off and I laughed.

When I woke up I felt slightly better but I was hungry as hell. I rolled over and came face to face with Hayden. He was just staring at me as if he was thinking and it was creepy as hell. "You're finally awake."

"Yea I felt tired and I didn't want to hurt the baby from the stress." He nodded. "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it," he asked like he was still mad which made me change my mind completely. "Never mind," I said getting up and going into the bathroom. I decided then and there I would do what I had to do alone. I tied my hair up and went to find something comfortable to wear. I put on a tank top with my grey sweats. "Tell me what you wanted to ask me."

"It's nothing forget about it."

"I'm sorry for snapping just talk to me," he said grabbing my hand and turning me around. "It's nothing Hayden I just want some food," I said trying to change the subject. I no longer wanted to ask him what me and Momma J talked about. "Not until you tell me." I sighed, "I was going to ask if you would help me track down my child. I wanted to know what happened to her and Momma J thinks by me doing this it will bring me closure about having this baby."

"You sure you want to do this?"

"I've always wanted to know and now seems like a good time."

"I will get my guy on it tomorrow, we can go see him together," he said and I nodded. When I tried to pull away he held me tighter. "I'm sorry for yelling at you at the hospital I was just frustrated."

"I understand why you were mad Hayden. I haven't been giving you a fair chance and I'm sorry. I really do love you and I do want to have your baby but I didn't expect it to be so soon."

"Yea me neither but I promise I will never leave you, I love you," he said bringing me down onto his lap. "You promise," I asked wrapping my arms around his neck. "I promise," he said kissing me all over. "Ok ok, now can I eat?"

"Yea come one Momma J made ribs." Soon as he said that I was gone. I was fin to tear them ribs up.

"Well, I'm glad to see you found your appetite," Momma J said coming in with Jayden. "Yea that nap really did the trick," I said licking the sauce off my face. Hayden was sitting beside me trying to get a rib. I don't know why he thought sharing a plate was an option. I kept smacking his hands away every time he tried to get a piece. "Damn I knew I should've came over sooner. If I knew your ass was pregnant I would have," Jade said pouting. I just shrugged. Long as Ciara was fed I really didn't care if they ate or not.

"Anyway I came over to ask you something," Jade said sitting down but not before hitting Hayden upside his head. He tried to hit her back but he missed and almost fell off the chair. I just laughed imagining his big ass falling on the floor. "What is it?"

"I wondered if you wanted to go into business with me; I mean you are basically family now. The only thing missing his for big head over there to by the ring."

"What kind of business?"

"I'm going to open up another spa and Momma J as told me you are really good at managing the restaurant so I thought why not have you with me too. Plus I trust you way more." What she was offering was a good deal but now that I had a baby coming I didn't know if I could handle it. Hell managing the restaurant was enough to make me go crazy. "You would be able to make your own hours and even work from home I just really would like it better if my business was in your hands."

"Let her think about it Jade. She needs to make sure she can do it with the baby coming," Hayden said as if he was reading my mind. "Okay fine I will give you a week to think about it. I will drop off the paperwork tomorrow for you to look over." I nodded and then continued eating. I couldn't understand how I could from a struggling teenager trying to take care of her two other kids to people wanting me to run their businesses. My life was truly taking a turn for the better.