With A Little Shake (Muke)

13. This Will End In Tears I Could Never Be Enough For You

•・Kali Ma・•

(Not edited)
It really was all fun and games until Luke felt like his entire life was a lie. It really was all fun and games until Michael fucked him up.

Luke knew he was being irresponsible. They were just best friends with benefits. Nothing more and nothing less. And now Michael had a girlfriend so there was no need for Luke anymore.

Luke felt used and useless.

Luke just wanted to disappear off the face of the earth. He was in so much pain. He felt it settle in his chest and take root in his ribcage. The branches spread and hollowed out his heart leaving him empty. Luke was so empty and so full all at once.

Tears filled his eyes and his throat grew unbearably tight. Sometimes he found himself unable to breathe. He would gasp for breath lips rounded and hands trembling.

Luke was a fucking mess.

He had been avoiding Michael and so far he hadn't seen the lilac haired boy. It's been a week. Half of Luke missed Michael and half of him knew better.

Luke took extra shifts and complained to the babies about his heartbreak. He would tell them to be careful with boys that make you think you matter.

"Emilie," Luke cooed, " Never ever, in a million years, let a boy or girl or anyone break your heart. I promise you it hurts." Luke gently rocked her back and forth as he tried to get her to stop fussing.

Luke knew she missed her Moms but he had to make sure sure she was okay. When she had been born, only hours before, she hadn't cried when the doctor gave her the slap of life.

She was fine, but it was unusual for a baby not to cry upon entering the world. He was making sure she was breathing well, and her heart was function properly.

With gentle and nimble hands Luke put his stethoscope against her chest. Her heartbeat was irregular, so of course Luke called on the attending Pediatric Physician. The burly man and a couple of nurses whisked the baby away.

Luke sighed as he walked over to the parents and told them where their baby was. The women leaned on each other tears in their eyes. Luke knew they were worried, he was too.

He knew their foundation was being rocked. He knew their relationship was being tested. Luke knew they would get through it. Little Emile was strong.

He felt like he could stand to learn a thing or two from the newborn. She was already so strong at only a few hours old. She was already fighting. She wasn't giving up.

Luke left the hospital eyes rimmed red and heart heavy. Emile had passed away due to complications that the doctor failed to disclose. Though Luke knew the doctor had somehow fucked up.

Luke honesty felt like shit. He was getting a cold. His throat hurt more than it usually did, and his nose hurt caused by congestion. Tears gingerly made their way down his rosy cheeks.

He was sick in more ways than one. His heart was love sick, his body was plain sick, his mind was the sickest of all. In some strange way Luke thought this was all his fault.

It was his fault Emilie had died. If he had noticed sooner, if he had done something more... Luke just kept running if I had's though his mind. He really thought he could've saved her.

In reality there was nothing he could've done to save her. There was nothing anyone could've done. She was just meant to leave early on in life. She had made her impact. He life goal somehow accomplished in 5 hours.

Luke hadn't realized that she had changed his perspective on almost everything. He now saw that he could be strong. He now saw that he could be courageous. He now saw he could be a better him. But at what cost?

Like sniffled slightly trying to keep his balance. Since his nose was stuffy his ears were constantly on the verge of popping. This threw off his balance.

His long powerful legs felt like blades of grass beneath his weight. He needed to go sit down somewhere, just for a bit. He needed to rest. He was tired. He hadn't really been sleeping.

With Michael constantly on his mind sleep eluded him. He collapsed on a chair in a café attached to a bookstore. He put his head down on the table and sighed.

He didn't know how to feel or even what to feel. One one hand he was completely smitten with Michael and would do anything to get him, and on the other he wanted nothing to do with Michael.

Luke was tired of being so indecisive. He went to order a Carmel latte before sitting back down and waiting for his name to be called. Normally he would've waited up at the counter but everything seemed to weigh on him.

His name was called after a few minutes and he took his drink saying a quick thank you. He sat down for the third time in the booth.

Luke was coming to the conclusion that Michael was a jackass. And he was coming to the conclusion that he was falling in love with a jackass.

He groaned and took a sip of the overly sweet coffee. This was his hell. His own personal hell crafted to everyone of his discomforts.

Luke thought back to that first night all those years ago. Back to when everything seemed unimportant. He wished he could go back and decline Michael's request.

Luke knew that it was futile now to fight against his feelings for Michael.
He was in too deep.

He decided that he needed to stop thinking. Even his thoughts were starting to become painful. He sipped at his drink, mind blank.

Then at that precise moment the bell on the door rang. Luke ignore it and continued to stare off straight ahead. The calm quiet atmosphere became chaotic as laughter filled the air.

Bothered by the noise Luke turned around. He grew pale and his hands began to shake. He turned back around quickly and lowered his head.

"Fuck me," Luke whispered. He took out his phone to use as a mirror to look behind him.

"Fuck," Luke groaned. He really hated his life. He really wished he had gone somewhere else.

"Luke?"

"Hey, Mikey," Luke responded forcing a smile on his face.

(A/N)

Hey, guys! I have a crush on someone I don't want to. So rn my life sucks lol.

Anyways I love you guys so much for reading! I don't think you guys understand how much it means to me.

Vote...
Comment...
Share...

THOUGHTS?

- Michelle