With A Little Shake (Muke)

18. I'll Paint You A Picture, With Words I Miss Her

・•Part Of Me•・
(Not edited)

Michael couldn't stop crying. The tear stains left on his blotchy cheeks seemed to run deep. So deep in fact that Luke was terrified to swipe the pads of his thumbs over them, in fear of being sucked into a grief so pure that he wouldn't be able to help his boyfriend.

When you see someone die, it changes you. When you see someone you care about die, it not only changes you, it cuts you open with a searing hot blade of regret.

Michael felt like he was set on fire, insides charred and crumbling, body burning from slashes too deep to stitch. He felt so fucking guilty. He was still grasping her hand as her body began to grow stiff.

Luke sat in front of him on the linoleum floor, tentatively wiping away his tears. No one could get Michael to let go of Haley's limp hand. Not even Luke who wanted Michael to just come back to him. To stop staring into the distance so blankly as if something or someone was there.

Luke stood up and as he walked out of the room casted a worried glance at his boyfriend. It was going to be hard to accept that Haley was dead and gone. But she was and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Luke walked out an idea swimming around his head. He knew it was against protocol but maybe it would get Michael to react. Maybe Michael would come back to him. Even grief stricken and tightly wound, Luke would take that over a catatonic Michael any day.

Michael was stuck in his head. He knew Luke had gone, he missed his presence. But finding the ability to speak was hard. He had no words to describe how his heart ached. He had no words at all.

Every sentence he tried to formulate never left his raw cherry red lips. Every time he tried to stand or to let go of Haley's hand his body refused to move.

Michael wanted to leave her side but as he stared into the far right corner of the room he could swear he saw her there. Watching him suffer at her loss and had this long literally face splitting smile across her face. Her teeth knurled, long, and a dull sickly yellow.

He could hear almost like a whisper her hoarse voice chanting: it's your fault Mikey, I'm dead and gone because of you, our baby will never know her mother. Michael felt like he was loosing his shit. And he probably was.

But he couldn't get Haley's aggressively accusing glare out of his head. He also couldn't take his eyes off her ghost because it would start screaming if he looked away.

Her screams where petrifying and ear piercing. He'd rather stare at her pale and intimidating figure than look away. He'd be more likely to have nightmares about her screams than her ghostly apparition.

Luke stood outside the room wondering if this was a good idea after all. He could still turn around and pretend like he hadn't done anything. He took a shaky breath and opened the door letting it slam against the wall. He was hoping Michael would turn around.

He didn't.

Luke walked inside trying to keep quiet but when a weak cry filled the room he gave up. Michael's head snapped around and the angry apparition screeched then eventually faded away into nothingness.

Michael got up everything was asleep. His butt, his legs, his arms, his hand. But he stood up blinked his eyes and walked towards the noise. Luke was swaying from side to side delicately.

Michael's eyes glistened as he got closer to his partner. There in Luke's arms was a crying bundle of cream yellow blanket. The cries became louder as Michael grew closer.

"Lila?" Michael mumbled, his voice not sounding quite right. Luke was a little afraid, Michael wasn't being himself. But he didn't dare move in fear of Michael going back to how he'd been behaving.

Michael peered down into Luke's arms when he got close enough. Tears slipping down his face once more.

"My...baby," Michael whimpered blinking his eyes rapidly. He gently caressed her face with the back of his right hand. Lila stopped crying and gurgled instead quickly settling into slumber. Michael cooed and then sniffles as Luke carefully put her in his arms.

Michael rocked her slowly and kissed her button nose. He smiled at her relaxed figure. Things weren't okay now, but they would be as long as he had his daughter and Luke.

All three of them walked out of the room as Luke led Michael to the newborns unit. Michael almost swore he could hear a sigh of relief from behind them as they left.

"Mikey," Luke said ushering Michael and the infant Lila as quickly as possible down the corridors.

"Mhmm," Michael hummed softly trying to not wake up Lila.

"I sorta shouldn't of done this, so we need to hurry up," Luke explained panicked hoping that no one had noticed. Michael raised an eyebrow at that statement before chuckling slightly.

"Don't laugh," Luke giggle along with Michael. Even though baby Lila had been checked over, and deemed healthy, complications could arise. It was better to be safe than sorry.

After the laughter had died down Michael quietly stated,"Luke, I want you to sign her birth certificate." Luke gasped in surprise tears coming to his eyes.

"She's out baby after all."

And Luke could only hum in response in fear of crying right then and there.

(A/N)

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-Michelle