Love, Lust & Broken Trust

Feelings & Comfort

Tabitha

Tanner drops me off and I know I have to make the one call I don't want to. I go to my room and call Erik. I wait and prepare to leave a message but he picks up.

Hey Tabby.

I sigh

Hey. I'm wouldn't have called but I have to tell you something so you can deal with it. We had a problem but Tanner helped me take care of it today...

He cut me off.

What?! You didn't even ask me!

He raises his voice.

What are you talking about? Clayton posted some videos of me dancing at the parties and we're both in them and very clearly together. What did you think I ment?

Oh, nothing. I'll take care of it. How are you?

I try not to groan.

I'm okay, I'm getting ready for the party?

He huffs.

You're still going.

I frown.

Yes. I said I'd be there and I'm not a liar.

He groans.

I guess I'll see you there then?

I strip down pulling on my black mini dress with the silver belt and some silver bracelets. I sit down at my computer turning it on to see a picture of me and Erik together.

I'll be there. I'll be the one in black.

He pauses.

Wait what? You didn't go goth again did you? I mean you changed for a reason.

I bite my lip as Devon shows up.

No. But if I did it wouldn't be your problem. You broke up with me. Remember.

I hang up tossing my phone on my desk and turn to my computer.

The picture of me and Erik stares at me and I start crying so I grab my pillows and cry into them then throw them until Devon runs in hearing the crash of my things.

Tabby are you okay?

I cry into his chest. Telling him about Erik

I can't change this for you sis. I wish I could but I can't.

I look at him.

I love him Devon. I'd rather die then be without him.

He clinches his jaw.

Tabitha Marie listen to yourself. Get it together. My fiance died three months ago. You know how to stop feeling it, cut it off and live otherwise you suffer.

I cry more but he groans.

Look, all our lives we've been taught how to reject our emotions and pain. Since we could walk and talk. If it hurts don't feel it right? Well, now it's your turn to use it. I know it's not easy but you have to do it. You have to for you, like I did when Becky died.

But I love him.

He hugs me

I know and you probably always will sweetie and hey if you can't block the pain keep yourself to busy to think about him. It works for me.

I frown

I went with Tanner to his cousins and I petted Becky's horse. I can't believe you were engaged to his sister. He's really torn up about it. He needs someone to talk to and he blames you for what happened.