Only in my dreams ( Book one of the Secret Embrace Series)

Absence

Ch. 14 Absence

"What are you doing here Liam?" I question angrily as I cross my arms and glare at him. He isn't suppose to be here. Did he not learn his lesson at all at the mall?!?

But more importantly ..I my eyes leave his to look around at mine and Adien's secret world..

Why isn't Adien here...he is always here, this is our place. I look around trying to find him..my heart slows into a depressing beat and my eyes downcast when i don't see him.

Where could he be?

And how did Liam get here? I scowl looking up glaring at him again. He better not have touched a single head on Adien or so help me I will do worse than punch him in his stupid face! Where is a base ball bat or any kind of object when you need it? Even that twenty foot pole looks nice right about now.

"Expecting someone else are we love?" He smiles sweetly, as he pulls my attention from my devious thoughts, " I hate to disappoint but it will only be you and me here it looks like this time..sorry." he says with a shrug, as he holds up a letter.

What he expects me to just take it from him when it could be anything? Ha! In his dreams.

" Well go on now. You need to read it, it is for you after all.." Liam says sweetly as he tries to hand me the letter again.

Why the hell does he have a letter for me?

" What the hell is this?" I say out loud, snatching the paper out of his hands. Liam just puts his hands in his pockets and stares at me waiting for me to read the worn paper. It looks like someone kept folding it again and again, and some parts even have wet spots, like tear drops, I am surprised I didn't rip it.

My body overwhelms with waves of shock as I begin to read each word written to me on the letter.

Ash,

I am sorry you have to find out this way, but if I did this in person, I wouldn't be able to say these words, I have to go..I have to leave you be..You deserve a love that you can remember, not only in your dreams but in the waking world as well. I will always love you don't think I will ever stop, you must understand I love you so much that I want what is best for you, even if that means it is without me. Seeing you die all those times in my arms because of our love isn't what is best for you, I was selfish to think that I could make you remember. You will remember when the time is right, and I have to understand that. I can't force you to remember our love, just like I can't force you to remember your dreams, it just doesn't work that way. One day we will be together again..one day we will have our love together, but for now I have to let you go. I have to let you live a life for once without my presence. Who knows you might find someone you can be happy with, that makes your dreams come true in both worlds. This is the hardest thing I will ever do in all my lifetimes..but I believe it is what is best. Don't wait for me Ash. I want you to move on, I don't want you to look for me because it will just be a useless cause I am already gone, you will never find me. You deserve happiness and that means a life without me, I realize that now. Hate me if you have to, hate me for leaving you, hate me for not answering you at the meadow, or all those other times I kept my distance when you only wanted answers , hate me for everything I tried to do right for us and ended up only failing you,hate me for letting you die in my hands all those times. Hate me for this letter, for being a coward and not telling you in person.

Hate me for goodbye..

Adien

Tears form in my eyes as I read the last words I will ever have of him. He is gone. Just like that? Does he really think I can let him go? That I can just snap my fingers and be the same person I was before we met. Not a chance. No. Never. I don't want anyone else. I want him. He is my soul mate not anyone else. Adien. I can barely feel my heart beating when I put my hand up to my chest. Do I still have a heart? Or did he take it as well? I don't even want to be here anymore as I look around, everything reminds me of him, his smile, his laugh, his arms around me, his voice..it is all absent here now.