My Life: Congrats, You Lost Me

Chapter 26 - School

****August 30th****

"Jessie, you need to come inside. You need some rest," Allan says, pulling me out of the memory. So many times would I come back to have her greet me at the door. Now that's never going to happen again. She's still here though, still watching. I have to make her proud of me.

I step through the threshold, into the entryway of the house and I look around, as though it was my first time inside. I walk down the unfamiliar hallway into my room and sit on the edge of the bed.

"Sissy, can we spend the night here," Becca said. "The beds are more squishy." I smile and nod, laying back on my own bed as she runs out the room again. More squishy. That's new...

I frown as I think of her. I bury my face in one of the pillows and fall into my first long sleep in weeks.

****August 31st****

"Jessie, do you really want to go back to school already," Eliza asks cautiously.

"Y-yes, I'm really behind everyone else and I-I need to get back. I'll be alright," I stutter, staring down at my feet. I had already slipped into a fresh pair of jeans, a clean t-shirt and my old converse, my bag swung over my shoulder.

"Are you sure, because if you aren't you don't have to go. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do, and I need to do something productive rather than sit around and mope," I snap. It won't make her proud if I do that.

"Well, Jessie," Allan says, coming out of no where. "Let's get going if we're still planning on it. I know you like to be there early."

"O-okay," I mumble. I wave goodbye to Eliza. "Goodbye Eliza, bye B-" I clamp my mouth shut and look back down at my feet sadly. Allan wraps an arm around my shoulders as we walk out to the car. He helps me inside and hands me my cane.

"You forgot this in the house. I figured you'd want to take it." He flashes a half-smile, hoping to cheer me up a little bit. It felt like there was a huge weight resting on my shoulders, my stomach, my head, my legs, hell my whole body felt like it was being pulled down to the ground. Allan starts the car and pulls out from the driveway.

We drive down the familiar street and past the old bomb-shelter school. We drive for another 10 minutes or so before Allan pulls up to the curb in front of my new school. I look out the window of the Jeep nervously and Allan squeezes my hand.

"Are you sure about this Jessie," he asks, his face shrouded in worry. "I can take you back home if not."

"I'm fine, I promise," I lie. "I'll be okay, Allan. Don't worry about me so much." He purses his lips and I turn to climb out of the car.

"Well," he mumbles. "I'll see you when I pick you up later, alright? I should be here on time today."

"Okay, bye Allan." I glance at the backseat for a moment before I turn away from the car, slight tears threatening the backs of my eyes. I keep them back as I walk inside the front doors of the school. I walk down the hall, towards my locker and see Justin sitting against the wall.

"Jessie," he says, looking up at the sound of the door. "You're back, I was worried." He stood up and walked towards me. He was about to wrap me in a hug, but I hold up my hands to stop him. I fold my arms and duck past him, towards the locker. I undo the combination and out falls several notes.

Not here too, God please not here too. I keep my head down as my squat to pick up the pieces of paper. I hear footsteps behind me and I can hear Justin muttering something under his breath. I crumple up the pieces of paper and shove them into my pocket as I stand up again. I drop my bag in my locker and pull out 2 of my books. I turn to find Justin holding one of the notes. Dammit I missed one.

"Stop," I say, reaching for the note.

"Why," he asks, pulling it away from me. "Why won't you read them?"

"Because they're awful." I snatch it from his hand and he looks at me confused.

"What's wrong with them," he asks. "They aren't anything mean. At least not that one." I look at the one he was holding and read through it in my head.

Jessie, I saw you on the news, I hope you're okay. What about your sister, is she any better?

"What the hell," I mumble. I pull the other ones out of my pocket.

That news thing was crazy! Are you alright?!?

I heard about your sister, is everything okay?

Some were harmless, just asking if I was alright or if Becca was okay, which already made me tear a little bit inside. Others just wanted to know if I was scared or something.

Are you worried somebody's going to come and get you after what happened?

While the last few made my heart sink further into my stomach.

I heard that guy on the news raped you. I bet you enjoyed it you little slut.

How much money did you make selling yourself while your sister was dying in the hospital?

Why are you just like your mother? I bet you didn't even care when your sister died.

Why couldn't people just say things to my face? Justin took them from my shaking hands and walked over to the bin, dropping them inside.

He stood next to me and waved off anybody who looked at me. He reached around my waist, trying to pull me into him, but the touch made me sick. I shuffle out of his reach and stuff my hands into my pockets.

"Jessie," Justin says. "It'll get better, I promise." I lift my chin to look at him, I was leaning against the wall and he was standing in front of me.

"How," I ask simply. "How could it get better? I just had to watch a nurse pull the plug on my baby sister. I had to watch her die right there. Over the past week I've been beaten, raped, I've watched 3 people die. How could it get better? Nothing will change that my baby sister is gone."

My eyes were blurry with tears and Justin moved in closer to me, trying to wrap his arms around me in an embrace. "Jessie I had no idea," he whispers. I squirm out from his arms and look at him coldly.

"Of course you didn't, now leave me alone." I shove my books back into my bag and walk down the hallway. I hear Justin call after me and I can still hear his footsteps following me, but I wasn't stopping until I got where I was going.