My Life: Congrats, You Lost Me

Chapter 3 - The Notes

**April 21st**

I roll my wheelchair up to the glass doors of the school. I had never had an issue with the school itself before, but now it just seemed like a prison. I personally like school before anything happened and there were no rumors.

"Jessie, are you sure you're alright," it was Allan, he snaps me out of my thoughts and drags me back down into the hellish pit that is reality. "I'm going to get a pass to help get you to your classes, I'm sure they'll be fine with it."

"Of course I'm alright, never been better. I'm glad I can be back in time for exams, I don't want to flunk out freshman year," I say with a smirk, I know I shouldn't lie like that, since I should really stay in bed for a bit longer. I still had a concussion, but I know I have to get back into things. "You can't miss your classes though, I can make it through here on my own, besides, you don't even know my class schedule."

"Of course I do, how else do you think I know when I can stop by to see you at your locker?"

"Fine, I guess you're right, you can help me out." I sigh as he shoulders the door open and holds it while I wheel myself in. There was a lot of commotion I could hear before I made it around the corner. But as soon as I turned it, it went silent after a few seconds. My face flushes bright red as heads turned to stare at me. Suddenly a sharp laugh pierces the silence and soon I hear whispers and more laughs. Allan seems to ignore him as he pushes my chair into the fishbowl-like guidance office.

"What can I help you with Miss Jessamine?"

"I need a pass so I can help her get to her classes better," Allan pipes up. "I was hoping I'd be able to get out a couple minutes early along with her so I could take her from class to class without any issues."

"I see, I guess I'll have to write you something." The woman picks up a pad of yellow sticky-notes and starts scribbling down something. She peels it off and hands it to Allan. "I hope I helped you a little bit. Get well Jessamine."

I nod in thanks as we leave the fishbowl and get back into the commons. Allan wheels me past the gym to our lockers and I open mine up with a flurry of notes falling out. Allan shakes his head and scoops all of them up - almost all of them - before I get a chance to see them. I manage to grab about 5 of them and shove them into my pocket. I sigh and return to reaching for my books.

"Could you help me out," I ask Allan. He reaches for my Geometry and French books and slides them into my bag that hangs from the handles of my chair. "Thanks." While he's distracted I slip one of the notes out of my pocket and just like all the other ones I've seen, it's covered in crude drawings and almost meaningless scribbles meant to be words.

You idiot. Little whore just like your mother. Disgusting piece of trash.

Just like your mother.

Just like your mother.

Little whore

I couldn't take it. This one just took it too far. I tear it up and that's when Allan notices.

"Oh shit, I thought I got them all. I'm so sorry Jessie." I bite my lip to stop myself from letting out the sobs that are fighting for their way free. I shake my head and rip up the note before wheeling into the bathroom.

Once I get into the bathroom I'm met by 2 girls dressed in the shortest skirts they're allowed to wear - even though it's 26 degrees outside - and almost crop tops. When I wheel up to the sink they start to laugh. "Aww did the little bitch get her feelings hurt," one of the girls says. That was it. I stand up out of my wheelchair and pain races from my hip up to my collarbone. I grimace as I limp over to the girl who spoke. She is still making her little face as her friend is still laughing and layering on pounds of makeup.

"Y-you." I point to the girl doing her makeup. "Get out of here." She lets out a smirk.

"Or what? Are you going to throw your wheelchair at me?"

"Fine. I wasn't gonna make you a witness." Ignoring the pain in my side I let out a scream that sounded like some rabid animal and jump onto the first girl to speak.

"Jenna!" Her friend called out. She ran out, probably to get help, I didn't care though.

I punched her in the nose, the eyes and knocked her into the sink when I jumped on her. She was screaming and I heard teachers yelling at me to stop and felt them trying to pull me off of her. I was hellbent on causing the worst pain possible to her. Then I froze. I stopped and stood up-

'Just like your mother.'

The phrase echoed in my head and I jumped off of her. Suddenly aware of the pain shooting through my whole body, and of what I had just done. I sit back down in my wheelchair and it's done. The floodgates are open, I can't keep it up any longer. I sob into my lap as they carry the other girl out and into an ambulance.

"Why would you do that," Ms. Song asks. I had stopped crying by then but all I could do was stare.

I tried to answer but all that came out was a raspy cough. She placed a hand on my back and bent down beside me. "It'll be alright, Jessamine." That was all I could remember, after that everything was fuzzy, I just know that it was official. I am just like my mother. No, worse. I am worse than my mother.

******April 23rd******

I woke up in bed at Allan's house, with Becca kneeling beside me. I twisted my neck to look at her and she smiled. "She's awake," she called out, and in came Allan at a full sprint. He slid down by the bedside and cupped my bruised face in his hand.

"Oh thank God you're okay," he said breathlessly. He kisses the top of my head and pets my dark brown hair gently before collapsing into the armchair next to the bed. He stares at me, looking me up and down with those bright blue eyes. Becks leaves the room and I hear her running down the hallway. "I got a call from the school. They said you needed to come in as soon as possible to talk to them about something."

I nod and try speaking again but I can't, my throat is too scratchy and dry. Allan hands my a glass of water and helps me sit up rather painfully. I take a few drinks and I can talk a little bit now. "Tell them I'll be in today."

"You aren't ready to go in there."

"What day is it?"

"It's Wednesday, you slept almost all of yesterday."

"Perfect. I'm going to the school once everybody's gone. There is nothing afterschool besides band and they never bother anybody really. What time is it?"

"It's about noon. We have 2 hours."

"I'm starving, I need something to eat." Allan nods and leaves the room. I stare up at the white ceiling and sigh. They're probably going to expel me or something. This is awful, I can't fail my freshman year. I've always been a straight A student. This can't happen now. It can't.

Allan reenters the room with a piece of toast and a bowl of Cheerio's drowned in sugar. I smile and eat the dry toast and cereal, happy to have some food in my stomach. After some time I put the empty bowl and plate on the bedside table and lie back down with a wince. "Wake me up when you're ready to leave." I slip into a peaceful bit of sleep

******April 23rd*******

"Jessie, wake up, we're about to leave."

My eyes shoot awake at his voice and I try to quickly move from the bed to my chair but am only met with an awful pain, even worse than before. I manage to get into the chair with Allan's help though.

After what seemed like hours we made it to the bomb shelter- I mean, school, we made it to the school. Allan helps me out of the car and wheels me through the front doors. I grab the wheels, making him stumble as I stop. I look at the fishbowl-office to my right and I realized just what's going on. There is a police officer standing inside talking to our principal, Mr. Ralland, and when they see me from behind their little glass walls they stare and motion me inside.

This was about to get a whole lot worse than I thought it could.