I laid in the pool on my back, with my eyes closed. I took a deep breathe and tried to relax even through it felt nearly impossible. But how could someone relax for death?
A few months ago that question would have been extremely easy for me to answer, simple. Someone who relaxes for death isn't sacred of death. The person wants it more than anything because it's the only opinion, they've tired everything.
Laying in the water gave me time to think and when I thought, I was reminded of what caused me to be in this position. What caused me to run away from my home and spend the rest of my life trying to get back on my own two feet.
They say that family is everything that they're what you have in the end, that they will always love you and be there for you. Well, perhaps you're right. Family is there for you and always will be, but what happens when you mess up too many times and your family can no lower support you?
What happens when you become a burden to your family, they see no value in you due to the countless mistakes you've made.
What if you family expects so much from you and you aren't able to provide them with their needs? If they have these high expects that are like skyscrapers? Sure, you can use the elevator to climb higher and higher towards their highest expectations, taking each level one step at a time.
But what if as you're in that elevator slowly reaching your family's expectations, trying to be the best version of yourself and please them. When suddenly they cut the cables and you find yourself falling down the shaft, do you then take the stairs?
That is if you aren't already dead, I take another deep breathe. Let's say you do live and try to take the stairs, you put so much effort in trying to be what your family wants you to be. You're climbing those stairs and you can feel every muscle in your body burning, and just as you reach the top of the skyscraper about to achieve in living up to your family's expectations.
They slam the fucking fire door in your face, cutting all access to any and every expectation.
My family has slapped the door in my face, they don't expect great things from me anymore. They don't acknowledge my existence, I guess you can call me a teenage runaway.
I sink down in the pool, relaxing every muscle in my body. There was nothing but absolute silence, something I've always hated. I just wanted the silence to end, stop the thoughts from creeping in my head.
I took a deep breathe, allowing the chlorine into my lungs. I began to choke, so I stopped breathing for a few seconds. I tried to remain still, I opened my eyes and glared around the bottom of the pool.
C'mon.
I was prepared to take another deep breathe before something splashed in the water above me. I screamed, quickly glaring up at the top of the pool.
I could feel the water getting into my nose and mouth and that's when I panicked. I quickly swam to the surface, gagging for air and wiping the chlorine from my face.
"HEY, you aren't suppose to be in the pool!"
I quickly removed my hands from my face, staring up at the brunette. "What the fuck, go away!" I shout, angrily. I was clearly chocking on chlorine and this boy wanted to question me.
He glares over his shoulder at his friend, who's drinking a bottle of beer. The second boy laughs, as he stares at me which is somewhat making me uncomfortable.
He was the one who was trying to suck that girl's face off in the parking lot.
The brunette sits bent down near the edge of the pool, grinning at me. "I figured you might need the drink." he says, referring to the bottle of beer floating beside me.
I cross my arms over my chest, glaring at my clothes and wishing I hadn't taken them off. "Hey Sam, I think she wants her clothes." his friend sings teasingly, as if this was all some joke.
I felt like grabbing the beer and throwing it at them, Sam laughs in response to his friend. "Nah, I don't think she wants her clothes back.... she didn't even ask."
I glare down at the pool trying not to let these douche bags annoy me. Clearly, this was their idea of flirting and it made me wonder how many girls punched them in the face because of it. "Are you gonna just stare at me like the pervs you guys are, or are you gonna give me my clothes?" I ask, still covering my chest.
"How about you come out of the pool and get your own clothes?" Sam asks, tilting his head at me teasingly. He speaks to me as if I'm not intelligent enough to comprehend what he's saying.
"And while I'm at it and I also kick both of you in the balls." I grin, teasingly.
Sam's smirk disappears, "You're a feisty one aren't you?" he teases. His friend stares at me as he drinks his beer, I slowly move closer to Sam.
"Stop being an asshole and just hand me my clothes. None of this is something you haven't already seen, especially like tonight." he grins even harder, not paying attention to how close I was getting to him.
Sam leans closer to me, staring into my eyes, "Not gonna happen." so I smiled at him just as he was about to stand up, I splashed him in the face.
His friend laughs, as Sam tries to wipe the chlorine from his face. He remains sitting with bent knees, "Alright, I deserved that." he laughs, wiping his eyes slowly.
I grip the edge of the pool, shaking my head. "No you deserve this." and I grab him by the collar and pulled him in the pool. His friend nearly chokes on his drink as he laughs as his friend.
I moved towards his friend, extending my hand up for him to help me get out the pool. His friend glares down at my hand, laughing softly as he grabbed my hand.
Instead of trying to get out of the pool, I tugged his hand and yanked him in the pool. After both of the guys were in the water, I climbed out and grabbed my belongings.
"Idiots."
