Publicity

16

Miley's POV

I feel like shit.

I fucking feel like fucking shit.

I'm sitting with Nick and his band mates trying not to cry or even look like the slightest bit hurt over Patrick's picture with that girl. I'm trying so fucking hard. The reason I asked these people to sit with us was so I could distract myself, but it's not working.

Every two seconds my mind would go back to it and just dwell on it and falling out of the conversation with these people, and my eyes would feel really wet and I had to bite my lip so it wouldn't tremble and I could hold back the tears.

I could just go back to the hotel room and cry there, but I don't need to cry and give Nick the satisfaction of seeing me break down, also give him the satisfaction that he's been right about Patrick. The biggest problem would be if I did cry and gave him an insight of what I went through with him. I don't want to look pathetic.

I honestly know I'm lying to myself, I knew Patrick wasn't a faithful guy, and I can't tell myself he didn't mean to cheat on me, but I have to pretend I believe that because he's still my boyfriend and I should be defending him, and I know Nick's probably so against him right now.

No matter how wrong Patrick is I can't let the idea of him lose to Nick.

But that doesn't mean I honestly don't feel like he should die right now, he is such a disgusting pig! I want to kill him for making me look like an idiot, I want to hurt someone for having to keep going through this shit with guys.

I heard Nick laugh and it brought my mind back to the table, and I giggled weakly even though I seriously don't know what happened. And then suddenly, out of nowhere I felt like I was about to burst into tears any second.

I felt like the world around me disappeared and I was falling, and this pain that has been suffocating me ever since I saw the picture seemed to choke out the last bit of life I have left.

My body felt really numb and my chest felt frozen at the same time, I felt like I had to hold on to something or I'll fall to my death. I was so unfamiliar to the feeling, but somehow I knew just what to do. I reached over to Nick's lap and squeezed his knee really hard, he kind of jumped and reached down to move my hand, but I wouldn't let go and guided him to put his around my waist instead.

I felt like I could finally breathe after so long, I moved a little closer to Nick, my chest heaving like I was really having breathing problems, but then calmed down when I kind of cuddled into him.

The Jeslyn girl seemed to stare at us like we were the cutest thing on earth, I acted like I didn't know and pretended to listen to whatever Ced was talking about. They started to laugh again, and this time I could hear it against Nick's chest, it sounded muffled but it also sounded so close...so warm.

"How long have you guys been dating?" Jeslyn asked suddenly and I froze.

"Us?" I asked foolishly, She nodded with a wide smile.

"Um," Nick said, glancing at me "I-I don't know, it kind of feels like forever."

I giggled and shook my head, playfully nudging him "About a month and a half." I told her.

"Well, Nick's right. You guys act like you've been dating forever." Ced said and I let out a small laugh. I felt really awkward to be talking about the relationship, since all these times we've mostly did stunts and not lie to friends or band mates about it.

"We should get going," I told Nick softly "Cory."

"Oh, right." He acted like he forgot "We have to go, I'll see you guys at soundcheck." He told them and we stood up. "Bye," I said sweetly and wiggled my fingers, they waved at us back as Nick led me out of the dining room and back to the elevator.