Publicity

45

Miley's POV

After I watch Nick leave I didn't move from the floor and I felt like I stayed there for hours. I tried to cry but I just ended up staring at the door in case he came back, but he never did.

I remained on the floor, asking myself what have I done. I couldn't believe it either, I made Nick think he was a criminal and gotten away with it for a whole week. I made him hate himself, the feeling is probably equivalent to how I feel about myself right now. I couldn't hate myself more.

I kept replaying the moment he looked at me when I told him knowing that he loved me was the worst thing I could imagine, and he saying he'd say something to hurt me as much as I hurt him but he's just going to walk away...somehow watching him walk away hurt so much.

Do I regret lying to him? I don't know, when I did it it felt reasonable, it felt like the right thing to do. I don't want him to love me, I was hurt by him countless times, and honestly I couldn't believe him that moment he uttered those words.

Nick, he flirts with a lot girls, I remember the time we were at Demi's party, I remember when I ran into Rita Ora and she told me they hooked up, I also remember Olivia and how badly he treated her. I watched her suffer with my own eyes.

I don't want Nick to love me because it scares me, love means he would stop at nothing until I feel the same way, and I just couldn't, and I wouldn't. And I had to lie to him because yes I want him to get away from me, but also because I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't bring myself to remind him of what he said to me when he was drunk because it sounded like a lie, and I wasn't sure if it was true.

But each and every night I wondered if Nick meant those words, but by the end of it I'd just tell myself it's best if he doesn't and it's best for me if I don't believe it.

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Flashback

I felt Nick hesitating but then picked up on his pace and kissed me passionately, I felt him gently grabbing my chin, his other hand on my hip. I didn't mind this act of public affection and grabbed his face slowly, pecking on Nick's soft lips, I felt his breath caught up in his throat and puffing against my mouth.

Suddenly, he drew away, I opened my eyes to see him looking at me strangely, his eyes scanned my body as he licked his lips. His eyes trailed up to meet my gaze, I found this unfamiliar of him, Nick leaned over again, resting his forehead on mine. I felt him slowly breathing through his mouth, I could feel his lips hot. "Come closer," He whispered.

I was confused since me and Nick weren't an inch apart; but I still leaned closer and held his gaze. Nick only hesitated; he was trying to say something I think. He looked into my eyes intensely, not blinking.

"I love you," He breathed, I felt myself withdrew, he looked up at me and tried to pull me back but I wouldn't.

"What?" I spat.

Nick smiled sheepishly "Yeah," He said.

"No, what?" I demanded, unsure "Did you just say--"

"I love you," He repeated and then nodded to assure me. I drew away even more and then let out an awkward giggle "Nick you're drunk."

He looked at me confused and then shook his head "No, I'm not. I love you."

"I get it! Stop saying that," I snapped as he was just about to lean over and kiss me again, I pushed him off gently.

"I wan't to go home," I announced to myself, but Nick felt as if he was adressed "Okay," He said and stood up to his feet and offered his hand for me to take "We'll go home,"