Markiplier Reader [NEW 2015]

We Have Xfinity Home...

"DID YOU LEARN TO DRIVE IN A ICE STORM?!"
"And tell me (y/n), how is that an insult?"
"CAUSE THIS BITCH SWERVING ALL OVER THE DAMN ROAD!"
"(Y/n), calm down."
"Sorry Mark...I'm just a bit on edge."
"I can see."

You two were driving to one of your friend's house for dinner, and some douche was swerving all over the road.
Mark was on his phone texting somebody and giggling like a little school girl, but you didn't have time to see who. As I said, you were trying to avoid a head on collision.

As you pulled up in your friend's driveway, she runs outside on the front porch. She was dressed rather nice, a sun dress and sandal wedges, which was something opposite of how she usually dressed.

"Oh my Gosh! I haven't seen you in so fucking long Audrey!"
"I wish I could have seen her sooner." Mark said. You shot him an evil glare, but softened after opening the car door.

"Nice to see you (y/n). How's it been? I see you finally found a sexy man to date. Duke was a bit...outlaw-ish don'tcha think?"

"How do you know I'm not some criminal master mind trying to kill (y/n) for all her money?" Mark made a stupid face and flexed. You seen him flex a trillion times, but this time was different.

"Well, uh *cough*, where's your man?" You say in a 'lay off my man' tone.

"Inside. Come and meet him, I'm sure you'll love him to death."
Mark came over and whispered to you.

"I don't like the way she said 'death'." Mark leaned in closer as if Audrey would hear him. "It only has one syllable, but she put like thirteen on dat sonovabitch."
(If you get the reference comment, all I have to say is...good luck)
You slowly nodded your head in agreement. You walked into the house cautiously, carefully of any traps or such.

"Nice decor Ms. Audrey."
"Thank you...(y/n)'s boyfriend. I never did get a name."
"It's Mark."
"Ok..Mark. Thanks for the compliment. Nice uh, blazzer. Red looks nice on you."
"Thank you. Apparently, you and (y/n)'s fashion senses are different."

You elbowed him in the gut and continued to marvel the huge house. Upon reaching the dining room, your heart stops (for like, two seconds) when you see the man sitting there.

"Hello (y/n). And you must be Mark. Nice to see you again"

Mark reaches for your hand as you hear about three locks click.

How?

"We have Xfinity Home."
"Oh...Nice to hear?"