I know you are not okay. I can just tell. You can smile at the funny things, and crack jokes here and there.... But in reality everything's is not okay.
Everything is running through your head asking questions like "why me?". Plastering a fake smile on your face everyday hoping no one will notice, and they don't. But you do want someone to notice, someone to come up to you and say "I know everything is not okay". And then hug you, and comfort you.
But you know that is never going to happen, at least not in this fucked up world. Everyone is too scared to come up to you and do that, scared of what other people might think.
You try to tell people you are not okay, but you feel like no one really cares. No one really understands. But I know you are hiding something deeper, something way deeper you want no one to know.
Every new person you meet, you hope they never find out how hurt you are inside, so they don't have to worry about you. You would never want to be a burden to them. You don't want them to know the pain that you are going through. So you stay strong in front of them.
But at the end of the day, you come home and completely break down. Drowning in your own sorrow, wishing for someone to understand.
That everything is not okay.
