Long Hard Road Out Of Hell (Marilyn Manson) ON HOLD

Mechanical Animals

Dita's POV

I can't believe I just said that. I mean, I only said it because Marilyn said it first, but I'm not even sure if I do. I'm sure I miss the memories more than him. I wouldn't have left if I had preferred him over the memories.

He was staring at me like I had just told him I was pregnant or that I had threw away the last of his cocaine and all I could do was stare back until the sound of Dixie's heart monitor increasing broke us from our overwhelmed trance. I looked over to her and her whole body was convulsing, her back arching off the bed and saliva being spat from her mouth in foamy strings. I started to panic and didn't know what to do other than back up into a corner, where as Marilyn immediately sprung up and repeatedly pressed a red button by her bed side in a violent manner until a stream of doctors came running into the room. A female doctor felt Dixie's chest with her hands and put her ear close to her mouth.

"She's not breathing." The doctor stated in a firm yet slightly worried tone. A few other doctors picked up equipment that they had carried in and started injecting Dixie with things and taking tubes out, changing oxygen masks, giving her chest compressions, but nothing was working.

"Sir, ma'am, we know you're worried about your daughter but you'll have to leave until the procedure is over." The same doctor who found Dixie wasn't breathing told us.

"If you think I'm leaving you-"

"Marilyn!" I shouted, cutting him off. "Get the fuck out of the room for Christ sake!" He quickly obliged, seemingly shocked by my language, and we hurried out of the room. Marilyn pressed his face up to the window into the room, as did I but not in a so desperate manner, and watched as a doctor opened Dixie's mouth and shone a little flashlight down down her throat and the proceeded to throw the flashlight aside and stick two gloved fingers into her mouth. I gasped in confusion and concern and Marilyn was seconds away from barging back into the room when her heart monitor slowly returned back to normal.

The doctors discussed something and looked to be congratulating each other until they finally exited the room, the first female doctor being the only one that stayed.

"What happened?" Marilyn asked, his voice laced with concern. I looked over to him and couldn't help but worry for his health. He had bags under his eyes and he looked drained and it's only been one day since the accident. He was pale, paler than usual, and scratching at his neck, a nervous habit that he picked back up. I'd managed to stop him from doing it when we were together as it would rub his neck raw but it seems he's reverted back to it.

"Your daughters throat had closed up," the doctor said. "Does she have any problems with breathing?" Marilyn frowned, shaking his head. "Well, we'll keep an eye on her. The second her heart monitor acts up I want you to do exactly what you did today. Our team managed to cure the problem this time but if there is to be a next time, it might not be that simple. It seems to be caused by something natural so it will be even more difficult to keep under control."

Marilyn nodded and I watched as the doctor walked away. I looked back at Marilyn and he was completely lost in thought. I wonder what he was thinking about. When we were together he would always complain about not being able to tell what I was thinking. I've always been told I was expressionless. I used to be able to read Marilyn like a book; the second something was wrong I would pick up on it, or I would know what he was happy about before he even started talking, let alone telling me what it was. It's not like that anymore though. Looking at him now I could only imagine knowing what was going through his mind. Either he's become more emotionally disconnected or I've been away from him too much. I think it's a bit of both.

"I think you should go home for a bit. Get some rest." I said to him, concerned.

"I can't leave. She might wake up or stop breathing again. I have to be here." He replied without hesitation. It's as if he didn't even need think about his response.