No Idea

No Idea- Chapter 8

Jack's P.O.V

After that day I haven't been able to function correctly. All I keep thinking is why would Alex waste his time leading me on like that? He knew how I felt about him and he used that against me, I knew that him and Trevor were planing this all the way. He didn't like me. He thought I was just a useless peice of shit just like Trevor always tells him. I'm not worth his time at all, just a burden in his little perfect world and life. Like he said, he can't be seen around school with a "pathetic gay boy" hanging around him. Only if he could see past all that, but I know he won't.

I haven't been able to sleep at all since that day. I know it's a little pathetic to act this way over something that happend almost 3 days ago, but I've never felt this way over any guy before. He makes my heart feel like it's about to beat out of my chest, he makes my stomach explode in butterflies, and he makes me just want to hug him and never let go in fear of him leaving although he already did but only if he knew how I really felt without hiding it away all the time. But when he said those words, "I cannot have myself seen at school with a pathetic gay boy following me around." It felt like my heart was torn from my chest thrown down onto the ground stomped on and put back. But I bet it felt amazing for him to say that.

I thought we had something, but obviously I was wrong this whole time. I let myself believe he felt the same but he is just an asshole that I'm not going to waste my time on anymore. I'm going to move on and not cry over a boy that led me on like that, it's in the past and I'm not going to live in it.

*~*~*~*~

When I enter school I start my way over to Rian not wanting to get the daily shit from the football team. All I want is to talk to Rian and get on with the day, get home and blast my music. I want to get over Alex. So what if he used my feelings for him against me, who cares if he lied about all this. But the more I say those things, I answer them myself. I care. I care that he used my feelings against me, I care about all if it and that makes me mad. I shouldn't have gotten myself involved with him. I should have kept walking that morning when he gave me a ride to school. I clear my thoughts when I start passing the football team picking up my pace. But it's not really hard to miss me due to the fact I'm wearing black skinny jeans, same black converse and a black jacket. While everyone wears colours. It's like putting a needle in a haystack. It's so damn obvious.

When I hear my name called I cringe. I hear some snickers and comments about me being gay and how I'm to get the shit besten out of me. But that's what I get for hanging around the star quarterback. I halt to a stop and turn around on my heels. I brace myself to see Trevor walking torwards me but I don't. I see the last person I want to see right now. Alex. My breath hitches in my throat as he walks torwards me with that sway in his hips that I love so much. He catches me off gaurd grabing my arm pulling me through the crowd and out the doors. I don't know what he's doing because he doesn't have the others following behind him like a lost duckling.

As soon as we're outside he stops to look at me. He has his hands balled into fists by his side while his eyes look at me with a soft look. I break out eye contact by looking down. Why can't he just leave me be? Go on with the others? If he brought me out here to punch me then he better do it quick or I am leaving.

"Alex what do you want? If you brought me out here to punch me then jus-" I start to say before he cuts me off

"Jack, I would never hurt you like that, why don't you understand that?!" He snaps. I look up at him to see he has his fists balled up tighter so his knuckles whiten.

"Oh you'd never hurt me? Hmm, then why did you punch me in the stomach that day? Why did you use my feelings for you against me!? Why did you lead me on to believe that you even gave a fuck about me when really your just a self-centerd bastard... I shouldn't have gotten in your car that morning so we didn't get involved with eachother.." I shoot back not caring the hurt look on his face and the guilt pulsing in veins. I may not have been around him for more than a month but I know that this was a mistake to even try to step in his life.

"Jack..I-I didn't mean that.." I hear him say his voice trailing off. I can't help but scoff at him.

"If you didn't mean it, you wouldn't have done it in the first place.." I snap letting my anger out. But the thing is, I don't exactly know why I'm angry. Here he is trying to apologise but I won't let him.

"Jack..I, I just..l-look I am s-sorry okay? I didn't mean for you to get this hurt." I barley hear him say his voice cracking a bit. I roll my eyes, turn around and head back into the school. Because no matter what, he still hurt me. I'm not going watch him nearly breakdown trying to apologise fir something that shouldn't have happend. And I know I'm a asshole for walking away, but I can't see him cry, but I know me walking probley broke out the waterworks.

*~*~*~*~

A/N: I know this is short and very late it's just because I've been writer blocked and it sucked...this chapter is a great example. And because it's short because I think my pace with this is too fast and that it sucks :/... give me feedback please?? :)