To The End

20 The world is come upon me,

(ONCE AGAIN, I have the chapter title that is too long)

20 The world is come upon me, I used to keep it a long way off, But now I have overdosed and I am in the hands of the hospital staff.

"Dakota, why?" Ray barely manages to whisper after I've stabbed him. "You're asking me 'why'? Why I'm doing this! Oh, Ray. There are so many reasons why!" Insane laughter escapes my lips.

        " 'why' " I grin, and then I pull the knife from his stomach. He howls in pain. "Revenge.  I want revenge."

     He looks up at me, his eyes glistening with fresh tears. "Why revenge?" He flinches. "You all ruined me. You made me feel again, you ruined everything." I stab him again, this time even harder then the last. "Why...." He coughs, splattering blood on my shirt. "Why do you want revenge for that?"

       I look into his eyes, instead of the hatred I was expecting, his hatred of me for doing this. There was sincerity, love.

         "It's a weakness." I stab him once more. He falls in my arms,  I hug him. "How is it a weakness?" He chokes out.

          "Mikey, he made me fall in love with him. He made me forget the monster that I really am, he made me forget what I've done. And.... And that's bad. I got so close to him, and that's dangerous. Because if I hurt him, then I, myself would not be able to contain anything. I'd explode and I'd end up all alone again. In a dark place. It's so lonely there" salty, warm tears roll down my cheek, burning my skin.

           "Raymond?" No response. I'd killed him, too. Why do I keep doing this? What would ever make me into such a monster?

6 Days

       I abruptly sit up, I'm crying , and sweating. I've woken up like this so many times before, but something is different.

        There's an annoying beeping next to me. Am I in the hospital? I look around the room, Mikey is asleep in a chair next to me, his head resting on the bed. There's no one else though.

       I’ve got a raging headache, but at the same time, everything feels so sublime. How and why did I end up here? I don't feel like I've been injured.

         I sit there, trying to remember what happened, while unconsciously stroke Mikey’s hair. He slightly stirs, moments later, looking up at me sleepily.

        "Hi" I smile. He smiles back, "Hi. Where are-" he looks around, then his smile turns into a glare. "I can't believe you" I blink, confused. His expression lightens. "You remember, right?" I shake my head. His eyes widen.

        "Dakota, you overdosed. On purpose" oh, yeah.

        With no response from me, he continues. "You called the police." He waits for me to reply, then sighs from my silence. "They found you barely alive..." his eyes are tearing up. "Why?" he looks down, trying to hide his face.

        "I- I needed to stop the nightmares" I whisper. I probably should have lied. He looks up at me, so hurt. Tears streaming from his eyes. He stands up.

        "We're leaving early." he states, wiping his cheeks. "Huh?" he sighs, guiltily looking down at his feet. "Gerard, Frank, Ray, Bob and I. We're leaving early" I laugh. "That's very funny." he sighs and shakes his head. "We're leaving after I'm finished here. We've found a new piano player, to fill in. We'll be staying at a hotel somewhere in Vermont, so we can have a bit of time before the tour."

        "Oh"

I start to lose it. I stand up, the iv falling out of my arm. Holy fucking shit that hurts. "Dakota!" he grabs the same arm, which is now gushing blood. I push him, he falls back a couple steps.

        Mum and a nurse walk in and see what's going on. The nurse runs and ushers me back to the bed. She makes me hold some medical stuff to my arm while she gets her stuff ready.

        Mikey sighs, and lets his hand fall from his cheek. "Goodbye, Dakota." he walks toward the door. I jump up, pushing mum out of the way, and making the nurse almost have a stroke. I run after him. "No! You're not going to leave me!" hot tears stream from my eyes.

        I grab his arm, making him stop. The nurse is trying to get to my arm, which now feels like its about to fall off. "Mikey! Please I'm sorry. It was stupid, I never wanted to hurt you!" he tries to keep going, while I grip his arm tighter.

        "Don't go, not yet" I whimper, through my tears. He tries to turn and walk away, but I grab his shoulder. He spins around and I feel a sting of the back of his palm. The both of us looked shocked, and now my cheek and arm are dying. I let go of him, and my arm falls to my side.

        We've caused quite the commotion now. Everyone in the hall, doctors and nurses even, are staring. It seems time stopped for a little while, because we all just stood there. "I'm leaving, now." he walks away, leaving me behind.

        "No" I whisper. He keeps walking. "No!" I scream, trying to run after him. Now there were two doctors, men holding me back. I easily push them away, and they end up on the floor. I continue after Mikey, who seemed to be trying hard to ignore me.

        Someone grabs my arm, unexpectedly, and I end up slipping and on the floor. Now I've got several doctors holding me down. I'm kicking and screaming.

        Wait... one of them isn't a doctor. It's Frank.

After I see him, darkness clouds my vision.

And there's silence. Terrible, overwhelming silence.