Impavid

Move In

     "Call me every night."

     "I will," I assured my mother.

     She was obviously having a harder time leaving than she had expected. She had already cried three times since we had arrived and started unpacking my stuff into the dorm I'd been assigned to. I glanced up at her, momentarily taking my eyes off of the welcome packet I had been given at check-in.

     "We should leave Carson to get settled in." My dad placed his hand on my mom's shoulder. As if his touch opened the flood gates, she was crying again.

      "Are you sure you'll be okay here, Sweetie?"

     I nodded, looking back down at the packet before glancing over at the alarm clock that I had set up beside my bed. I stood up, uncrossing my legs, dropping the papers onto my bed behind me. I held my arms out, my mom instantly stepping into them. We stayed still for a few seconds before we both stepped back to look at each other.

     "I'll call you all the time," I promised, "but there's a dinner event tonight that I really want to go to."

     "Carson." She hesitated, glancing back at my dad. He only nodded, giving her an ensuring look.

     "Let her get ready," Melanie groaned. "God, Mom."

     "Okay, okay." My mom held her hands up. She pointed a finger accusingly at my sister and dad who were standing near the door. "Neither of you will ever know what leaving your daughter feels like."

     My dad raised his eyebrows. "She's my daughter, too."

     "But," my mom pouted, "she's my baby."

     "Mine, too."

    She made a weird sound, pouting again. "I'll leave you to get ready." She stepped forward and pressed her lips on my forehead before she smoothed out my hair. 

     "Bye, Honey." My dad moved across the room to pull me into his arms and kiss the top of my head.

     "Bye, Daddy." I smiled up at him. He wiped the tears from his eyes. I wiped my eyes in return.

     It was Melanie's turn. She jumped at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her mouth found my ear. "Meet a cute boy," she whispered. "Forget Luke." 

     She stepped back, and I nodded slowly. I settled back onto my bed, cross-legged, as I watched them leave the room. The door began to close behind them, and I found myself holding my breath. It closed completely, without any loud noises. They were gone. This was all new. I picked up the papers in front of me again, beginning to plan my night.

***

     I uncrossed my legs, taking a deep breath. I stood up, fixing my sundress as my dark hair fell over my shoulders. A smile grew across my face, as I looked around at my new floor-mates as we gathered in a circle in the room. A few of us, like myself, were perched on the three couches that had been in our giant lounge that we had arranged to face each other. Others sat on the window ledges, and the rest were scattered around the floor.

     I waved my hand slightly. "Hi everyone!" I beamed. "I'm Carson. I'm going to be a senior at Washington High. And my favorite book is," I paused, "King Lear." I sat back down, the girl next to me standing in my place. "I'm Becca," I heard her saying "and I'm also going to be a senior this year." I zoned out, thinking of how one of my first conversations with Luke had been about King Lear.

     Lunch was filled with mostly polite smalltalk, discussing where he had moved from (an hour south), what he liked to do in his free time (play basketball), and his family (it was just him, Max, and his parents). He did mention he had been reading one of my favorite plays by Shakespeare, King Lear, which I tried to ignore, while Sophie nudged me under the table.

     "What do you think of it?" I questioned. I was actually impressed by his analysis, in which he mentioned both satire and symbolism.

     I couldn't help but wonder if he was with Aly or some other random girl or if he was thinking of me as well. I thought of what Melanie had said when she was leaving, and I turned my attention back to the circle.

     "I'm Chase." I glanced up, watching the boy sitting on the floor to my right talk.

***

     "Carson! Are you coming out with us tonight?"

     I peaked over my laptop. Rachel was standing in the doorway, her long blonde hair in messy curls. Her blue eyes met mine, and I closed the laptop, setting it on my bed next to me.

     "Sure." I smiled at my roommate. She grabbed my purse off the hook we had set up beside the door earlier in the day when we had our first of many roommie dance parties as we decorated the dorm-room.

     "Is this straight?" I had questioned loudly. The radio was turned up to almost full volume.

     "What?" she shouted, looking over shoulder. She had her arms spread and pushed up against the wall, matching my own, attempting to hang a poster above her own bed. She smoothed the corner out and turned to face me.

    "Right side up!" I made the change, and she made a face.

    "More?" She nodded.

    "Perfect!" She held up a hand as I fixed it, and I pressed it against the wall, counting to 30. She started singing to whatever song was on the radio, grabbing the roll of tape she had been using that from its position on her bed. She sang into it, starting to dance. I grabbed the hairbrush on my nightstand, copying her, as we both jumped on the beds.

    We both ended up lying on the floor laughing by the end of our dance party, talking about our lives. Luke came up, of course, and I was relieved to hear she was going through something similar. I would have hated to have been rooming with someone in a serious relationship. We could have girls nights, and we could scout out cute boys across the campus.

     We had already taken several roomie selfies, lying beside each other on the pink fuzzy rug we had stretched out in the middle of the floor between our beds that were positioned on opposite walls. We had captured a variety of silly faces and laughing candid shots.

    I jumped to my feet, ready to take on this camp thing.

     "Let's do this!"

     Rachel grinned in response, wrapping her arm over my shoulder as I pulled the door to our room closed. It closed quietly, our names on brightly colored construction paper proudly facing the hallway.