Impavid

The Door

     I just stared forward, trying to figure out if I had heard him right. He just stared right back at me. 

    "What'd you just say?" I blinked. 

    "I said, 'it is your business because it should have been you.'"

    I bit my lip. "I should go."

    "Carson," He jumped to his feet, "Don't do that."

    "Don't do what?" I barked. "You can't just say something like that! You've been such an asshole to me." 

     "I know." 

    "You know?" I rolled my eyes. "That's all you're going to say? You know?"

    He didn't say anything. 

    "I'm leaving for camp soon," I stated, "So just do me a favor and leave me alone. Maybe I'll see you when I get back, but this is definitely not something I need to deal with before I leave." 

     I turned around, walking back toward my house. This time, I couldn't hear him following me. A small part of me actually wanted him to chase me. I heard my words echoing through my head as I trekked back. I sounded harsh, for sure. It wasn't my proudest moment. I may not have always known the best with boys and relationships in the past, but I was pretty sure that yelling at him wasn't the best answer. I didn't think that's what you're supposed to do when someone tells you they wished they were kissing you instead. I ignored Max as I crossed the street. I saw my front door had been closed, which I was almost sure I had Max to thank for.

     That is, until I walked inside. 

     "What are you doing here?" I questioned, my eyes meeting Dave's. He sat at the kitchen table, a sly smile on his face. 

     "Your parents wanted to take your sister out for ice cream." 

     "How'd you get here?"

     "They dropped me off."

     "Why didn't you go?" I folded my arms over my chest. 

     "I got sick at dinner." He grinned. Something was up. I felt myself grow nauseous. 

     "Oh."

     "I said I got sick at dinner."

     "Oh." I really, really didn't like where this was going.

     He stood up, moving closer to me. I took a cautious step backward. 

     "I haven't been able to have any alone time with you since what happened in the car."

     He was watching me. I wanted to run, but I didn't know where I would go. If I went upstairs, he'd surely follow. I couldn't go back outside, though, with Luke out there. Technically, Dave hadn't done anything wrong or inappropriate. This was just my usual I-hate-being-alone-with-Dave feeling. He was right. We hadn't been alone together since it had happened. This was my doing, even though I had always made it seem like an accident. 

     My mind was still racing from the conversation I had just had with Luke, and I was furious with the way he so casually stated something that changed our relationship entirely. He couldn't just be a total ass and ignore me on and off and then make that comment. I felt as though he was taking advantage of me in that moment of weakness. I had let him in. I had let him see me cry. I had told him about how much I missed my sister and how uncomfortable I felt with Dave, and he chose to bring that up anyway? That wasn't acceptable.

     I was furious.

     My mind, however, forgot about the situation with Luke more and more with every step Dave made toward me. I tried to stand my ground and be brave. He hadn't technically done anything wrong. I couldn't just run away screaming. 

     "I know!" I shrugged, trying to play it off. "We've both just been so busy. Speaking of that, I really have some work I have to get done. I'll see you later?" I turned to move upstairs. 

     "Carson." The way he said my name made me freeze. I was suddenly very aware of my heart pounding in my chest, and I felt the urge to scream as he moved closer. "School's over. Finals are over."

     "Not yet," I corrected. 

     "Carson, you don't have work to do."

     "It's for camp," I lied. I could tell he knew this was a lie, but he let it slide, retreating back to the kitchen table. I dashed up the stairs. I grabbed a book from my shelf before settling on my bed, tugging out my cell phone. I texted Sophie as quickly as I could. 

     When her name flashed on my screen, I hit view immediately. She suggested calling or texting Luke, but I just couldn't. The situation with Dave was temporarily resolved, and I could only hope my family would be home soon. 

     I barely had time to hit reply and type a few words when Dave appeared in my doorway. I glanced down at my phone briefly. It gave me just enough time to close the draft to Sophie and move to my contact list. Desperate times called for desperate measures. I pressed L. Knowing Luke was the only L saved in my phone, I pressed the call button as Dave approached the bed. I knew Dave would be able to hear Luke's voice over the phone, so I spoke first, loudly. 

    "Dave, what's up?" 

    "I wanted to check on my favorite girl." 

    This made me sick. I hoped Luke had heard enough. I didn't want to take any risks of Dave catching me calling for help. That would only make the situation worse, so I pulled my phone out from under my leg and pressed end subtly. I pretended to read a fake text from Sophie aloud, saying something about how her mom wanted a new dog. I laughed, tossing the phone beside me. It was in reach in case of an emergency, but it didn't look suspicious. Dave moved to sit on my bed.

     He was close. He was too close. He moved his hand to rest it on my knee. "Carson." He started, and I felt that urge to yell for help, "When I kissed you, that wasn't an accident. I really like you."

     "What about Mel, though?" I tried not to let him hear the fear in my voice.

     "She's great. I love Mel, but I really like you, too. You remind me so much of her, and you're so pretty." He reached forward and tucked a hair behind my ear. I felt myself holding my breath, frozen. 

      Suddenly, he was leaning forward, pressing his lips against mine. I knew better than to try to fight him. He was much stronger than I was. His hands tangled in my hair. When I instinctively flinched, he grabbed my wrist and flung me so I landed flat on my back on the bed. Climbing over me, he pinned me to the bed, and I finally screamed. 

     "Get off of me! Someone, help!" 

     "Carson," He hissed, "Shut up."

     And then I heard it. It was the sound I had grown up hating so much. It was the sound I was unexplainably relieved to hear. I never thought I'd love the sound of that door closing.