Impavid

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    "Are you sure you're okay with this?" 

     I looked up, wide-eyed. Chase nodded, his eyes finding mine. He leaned down to press his lips against mine reassuringly. As he pulled away, I reached down to yank the strap of my duffle bag over my shoulder.

     "Okay," I mumbled. "Push me out the door before I change my mind."

     "If you don't want to go," Rachel interrupted us, "you shouldn't go." 

     I looked over to her, as she sat perched in her unmade bed. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, her eyes gazing into mine. I knew she was right, but I also knew that I needed a trip home. I wanted to see my parents and my sister so badly, and I knew that I needed to sit down with Luke face to face and talk through everything.

      The only challenge with this spontaneous weekend trip back home was that I didn't have a car here. The whole trip was Chase's idea, starting the second he sat down next to me on the couch only an hour before and I burst into tears despite trying to act cool. 

     "It's up to you, Carse."

     "Let's do it." I nodded. 

     He reached down, grabbing a duffle bag of his own. I followed quietly behind him to his car, tossing the bags in the truck and climbing into the front seat. As I slumped against the door, Chase spoke up. 

     "What's on your mind?"

     "I really think I need to talk to Luke," I blurted out as Chase backed out of the parking spot and shifted into drive.

     "I know." 

     "Won't that be weird for you?"

     "If it's what you need, we'll make it work." Chase reached over, setting his hand on my knee. 

     I couldn't help but smile, resting my hand on top of his. He kept it there for most of the drive back, as we talked about random things to keep my mind off of everything. We spent a majority of our time either looking for different things that started with letters of the alphabet or searching for license plates from different states as we sped down the highway. 

    When we pulled into my driveway, Chase shifted his car into park and turned to face me. 

   "What's wrong? You look nervous."

   "I mean, I'm meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time." 

    I climbed out of the car, completely ignoring Luke's house. As Chase met me near the truck to collect our stuff, I grabbed his hand.

   "They'll love you," I promised him, pressing myself on my tip toes to kiss him.

   "You're just saying that." Chase poked my nose. 

    "Come on," I pulled the strap of my bag across me and grabbed Chase's hand, tugging him toward the front door. 

      "We're here!" I called out, pushing the front door open. 

       My mom appeared in front of me, throwing her arms around me. Chase stepped into the house, closing the door behind himself. Its loudness echoed around the entry way, startling him. 

     "What the...?"  My mom and I turned to face him, laughing. "I'm so sorry. I thought I closed it gently, and I..."

    "It wasn't you. It does that," I promised him. "It's weird like that." 

    I snaked my hand toward him, curling my fingers around his for reassurance. 

    "So," my mom informed me, "there's someone in the living room who wants to see you."

    "I didn't realize anyone else knew I was going to be home." 

     My hand fell from Chase's as I started walking forward, my heart pounding. As I turned the corner, I was so scared that I'd find Luke sitting on the couch as Chase awkwardly trailed behind me. 

      I didn't even get a chance to take a good look at who it was before the blonde was bouncing into my arms, throwing her arms around my neck.

      "I've missed you so much, Soph!"  

     "I need to hear all about everything!"

     She took a step back, her eyes focusing on who was standing behind me. 

     "Let's start with this: Sophie, this is Chase."

     Chase stepped forward, snaking his arm around my waist and leaning forward to whisper in my ear, "I'd love to get to know Sophie if you wanted to go talk to him."

      My heart was pounding at the thought of going to find Luke, and I felt insanely guilting for putting Chase in such an uncomfortable and awkward position. I knew that if I wanted to enjoy the next 28 hours at home, though, I was going to need to just get this conversation over with. 

      "You two talk," I was staring at Sophie, "I'll be right back."

       I didn't wait around for a response from either of them as I moved back toward the front door. As I pulled it open and closed it as slowly as possible behind me, I was sure that the noise probably started Chase once more. I marched straight across the street, lifting my hand to knock politely on Luke's front door. 

       His mom answered, clearly surprised to see me. We hadn't interacted much, but we had met a couple of times briefly when I tutored Luke or when we were both out in our front yards or driveways doing whatever. I didn't know how much Luke had told her about what had happened between us, but judging by her reaction, I was sure that she was aware of the fact that I wasn't home for the summer. 

       "Carson! I didn't realize you were home."

       "It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment type of thing. Can I talk to Luke?"

       "Carson, I don't know if..."

       I cut her off quickly. "Please," I begged.

      "He's in his room." She nodded, opening the door wider and stepping back. 

       I climbed the familiar stairs to his room. As I passed the bathroom, I considered stopping in there as I was almost positive I was about to throw up. His door was just slightly open, just enough that I could hear the faint sound of the basketball game in the background. 

       I knocked softly, careful not to open the door as I did so. "Luke?" 

       "Carson?" he asked through the cracked door. 

       "Can I come in?"

       "What are you doing here?" 

        I took this as a yes, as I applied a small amount of pressure to the door. It creaked open, exposing Luke as he sat up tall on his bed. He grabbed the remote, clicking off the basketball game. His eyes were wide as he watched me lean against the doorway. 

        "I needed to see you."