The Slow Path - (#1 TenRose Fanfiction)

Confused

~Chapter 4

Rose's POV

I lay curled in bed as the doorbell rings, and I close my eyes tight shut to stop the tears from falling. I've done quite enough crying recently. First the deal with Reinette, and now the...the secret. The secret I don't want to admit. The secret I try to ignore. But it won't go away. The Doctor needs to know, but I don't think I can ever trust him again, at least no like I used to. I hear Mum shouting from outside the front door, probably a cold caller, or the landlord, or that odd lady next door that never puts the bins out. And then the shootings over, and I can hear muffled talking, but I can't hear the person Mum's talking to very well. I just about pick out the words "deserve", "truth", "realised". Not making any sense of it, I give up trying to hear the rest of the conversation and drift off to sleep.

However, soon after, a soft knock sounds at my bedroom door.
"Come in." I muffle tiredly.
"Only me." Mum smiles softly, coming to sit on the edge of my bed like she used to when I was younger.
"Who was at the door?" I ask curiously.
"That was the Doctor." Mum sighs.
"What did he want?" I snap, probably a bit to annoyed than I should be.
"He...he came to say sorry. But I told him you aren't ready to see him yet."
"You bloody well bet I'm not." I say, sitting up in bed.
"Hey, sweetie, he means well, you know," Mum says. I glare at her but she carries on. "Look, I'm not taking sides, I'm just saying, it's...it's not what you think it is."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask bitterly.
"I think the Doctor needs to be the one to explain, not me. It's not my problem after all. I've told him to come by in a few days, and I hope then you'll be ready to talk to him."
"I'm not gonna tell him."
"You're gonna to have to tell him eventually sweetheart, it is his-"
"Don't say it, don't say the word. Until I tell him, I'm going to forget about it. For now, at least leave me to think everything through."
"Of course." Mum gets up, and plants a quick kiss on my forehead, before turning around to face me "He really does love you, y'know." She says, and shuts my door behind her, leaving me with a mind clouded with confusion.

***

The Doctor's POV

Three days. It's only three days, no problem. I can survive three days on planet Earth. Yeah, I'll be fine. I keep pacing backwards and forwards in the console room, thinking of things to do. I decide on having a rummage through Rose's room, see what she left behind. But when I get in there, there's nothing. Not a trace of anything Rose, nothing except the crumpled bed sheets from when she last slept here. Of course, the walls are still that same deep pink, but now they're empty, even the photos are gone. Too many memories. It's almost like she was never here. I'm about to leave the empty room, when something catches my eye. I turn my head towards the object, and my eyes settle on the blue and lilac piece of clothing. My hearts almost double over in my chest. The only piece of Rose left. Just underneath the armchair, sits Rose's top, the one she wore when we went to New Earth. Slowly, I bend down, and pick it up. I hold the clothing so delicately I'm surprised it doesn't fall straight through my fingers. I miss her so much, so, so much, even though it's only been just under 24 hours. I've never been parted from her for so long. But now she won't ever trust me again, my grip tightens on the fabric. Oh, if it wasn't for Reinette....My sweet Rose, my beautiful pink and yellow human. I never even got to tell her I loved her, that's always been my secret, my love for her, I've always been so afraid to love. But what's her secret?...
I'm not prepared to loose her, not my Rose. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks then, landing their destination on Rose's top. I never cry. Not usually. Unless it's for Rose. Tears fall down my cheeks like a stream, and I bury my face into the soft fabric, breathing in that scent, the scent of vanilla and lemongrass....that's just so...Rose. It's stupid, crying. But I can't help it. I miss her so much.

But I'll get her back. In a few days, she'll be back in my arms. I tell her my secret of loving her, and maybe she'll even tell me hers, which I am still confused what it is. Jackie said, "She needs me more than ever" and "The real reason she left". I don't get it. I'm so confused. I need to know the answers, my head is spinning. Rose can tell me anything, she just needs to learn to trust me again. I'm sure that'll be easy once everything's explained.

Oh Rose, I miss you.