Suited 》Harry Styles AU.

8. Guilt

Chapter 8: Guilt

The weather had changed drastically over Portland as the wind dispersed the clouds to give way to exciting sunshine. It was the first glimpse of warmth after three days of continuous drizzling.

I stood at the window that showed a beautiful view of Portland; the streets, and gigantic structures with harboring geniuses learning, unseeing.

Standing rooted to the same spot, weak and helpless as tears blurred my view. I look down at my fingers as though I have never seen them before and watch the tears drop on them, feeling helpless and most of all guilty.

Today, I had found out Zach was engaged.

At first I didn't believe it, it sounded like a joke to me but when he told me but when I saw the sadness and solemnity in his eyes, I felt my heart shatter into multiple pieces.

I felt completely guilty, guilty that he had to get engaged to someone he might not love, guilty that I wasn't able to give him the kind of affection he deserved, but most of all, guilty that he was doing this because of me, to forget about me.

I wipe the tears away just for it to serve as a catalyst for more tears. It pained me to know that he was taking such a drastic decision because of me, he didn't say so but I know it and so does he.

Just like Alia planned, I had met up with him earlier in the morning when I arrived at work, wanting to speak with him but what he told me wasn't what I was expecting.

He went straight to the point without beating round the bush. He said that he liked the lady a lot and that he wants to move on with his life. He also said that all the years he had spent waiting on me were a waste.

And he was right. I should have done was to tell him that I wasn't interested from the very beginning and maybe things might have not ended up this way but I didn't do that, instead I made up excuses after excuses and wasted three years of his life.

It made me feel extremely guilty.

Zach had narrated the details of their relationship to me, he said her name was Miranda Linton but he calls her Mira and he had met her Baltimore where she works.

She liked him at first sight; she had been overwhelmed by the discovery of such a man who fitted her ideal man perfectly. Zach had not said like that, but with the way he narrated the story, I knew it was equivalent to that.

From the way he talked about her I knew she was completely smitten by Zach and it would totally shatter her if she knew she was his second choice. He had shown a lot of likeness for Mira and that's how they ended up together.

He apologized to me, saying that he knew he was rushing things but the only way for him to move on and forget about me was if he involved himself in a permanent relationship which he did.

I am supposed to be happy for him because this was what I wanted for a while now but I can't help feeling guilty knowing that he wasn't doing this out of his own will. It's as if I am pressurizing him to do so.

I sniffed and heaved, wiping the tears away from my cheeks and underneath my eyes one last time. I tried to convince myself that it isn't my fault but I know too well that it is, all I want is for him to be happy and if he feels this is what will make him happy then I should support him not cry over it.

The door to my office opens, pulling me out of my thoughts as I jolt in surprise, turning to look at the unfamiliar person who lets himself into the office.

A man smartly dressed in a navy blue suit and red tie with blonde hair lazily swooped to the side made his way to the front of my desk. "Miss Serrano." He said curtly.