I Will Fight For You

Speechless? My whole tongue ran off.

I left home without eating, I pulled on the first pair of shoes I saw, walked out the door, and got into the car. I'm sure I even forgot some of my books. I don't remember even closing the front door.

I sat in the back seat of the car, going over everything Mattie had said. It hurt me to know he felt that way.

The ride to school didn't take long today. Once there, I thanked the driver, as I do every morning even though it was and always has been his job to drive me. His name was bobby. We had a good friendship, we always chatted on our way. Today, however, bobby didn't have much to say, as did I. I hope he was ok and just a great observer and nothing else.

I made my way inside the building to where I knew I would find Riley and Hannah.

I saw Riley first; he was leaning against the walls. He had on his favorite dark blue hoody.

"Hi" I said, as I got closer.

"Hey, what took you so lo- damn, you look like shit. What happened?" Riley asked once I had gotten close enough.

"Nothing" I said looking through the window into the classroom to avoid eye contact. I hoped he wouldn't push it but I knew better.

"Carmin" he sighed "I've known you since I was, I don't remember, but I think I know when something is bothering you."

"It's nothing. I just got into a fight-" I said hastily.

"With your dad, again?" he said cutting me off.

"No," I said hesitantly "with Mattie."

"With Mattie!" he accused "what happened?"

I prepared to give him the lowdown albeit hesitant. I was still lost and trying to collect my mental bearings.

*

"And I was just left there speechless... until the car came" I said while closing my bag, I got out my books for class.

Ugh, school, hated this place.

"Wow" Riley said after digesting everything I had told him about what happened this morning.

Wow was indeed right.

After recalling this morning it made me sadder. I honestly didn't know his feelings. I should have though, I really should have. I sighed aloud.

"What am I going to do, Riley?" I said walking with him side by side to class. I felt so lost. I didn't want to be at school today but I was already here. I mean I could always go back home...

He suddenly stopped.

"I don't know, carmin, but I do know that no matter what it gets better it has to, right? He's your little bro, he looks up to you with tons of admiration in his eyes and no matter what he says he'll always love you just as much as you love him." he said grabbing me by my shoulder and looking dead into my eyes with every ounce of seriousness he possessed.

He smelled good.

I looked at him. Memories of our childhood strayed at the back of my mind. So much has changed over the years. Both to our stature and our mindset. He'd grown to be more confident and sarcastic but even more so affectionate. He looked the same as I've always remembered you know just a little less baby fat and a little more muscle. His hair and eyes were the same. He stood a foot taller than me. He's always been there for me as I for him. As annoying as he can be I wouldn't trade him for anyone else. Ever.

I couldn't help but let a few tears stray as he said those words. I wholeheartedly loved Riley for trying to lessen my sadness. He was the best especially when it came to Mattie. I always went to him when I needed help with Mattie. Mattie himself always looked up to him. That part made me glad to know that at least he'd have an older brotherly figure he could turn to when he needed help.

Especially when I can't.

"Thanks, Riley, I don't know how I would have managed without you, you're my best friend, and I love you!" I whispered my earlier thoughts. I looked into his eyes that had never left mine.

"You're welcome, carmin, but you didn't have to thank me. You're one of the most strongest and bravest girl I've ever met. You would've gotten through it with or without me and for that I love you too." with that said I was pulled into a bone crushing hug which was ended by the bell ringing for the start of first period.