~Homestuck x Reader one-shots~

Request! Kankri: Is this real life.

"Furthermore, (Y/N), you must be prepared in case someone does not like anyone, troll or other, swearing. The language you were using could trigger someone in a very bad way and- (Y/N) please do not touch my hair while I am speaking to you, its triggering."

You sigh and take your fingers away from the small braid you were making in Kankri's hair. You were currently being lectured for accidentally saying 'shit my fucking face ow' after walking into a door. Kanny's great, you like him and everything is a-okay, but sometimes he rambles for a bit too long on a bit too much. Though, you were told there was one thing that may be able to make him quiet down. It's crazy, but it just might work.

"Kankri. Not to interrupt your lecture, but I need to tell you something." You look the sweater-wearing, nubby-horned troll in the eyes; well, pupiless and colourless, dead eyes.

"What is it (Y/N)?" Kankri puts his hands in his lap, after waving them around as he spoke. The hands you wanted to hold with your own grey one, the ones you wanted running through your hair as his ever moving lips were pressed against yours,

"I'm triggered by the fact I am not being kissed and that you are lecturing me about triggering while I am triggered." You take a deep breath. Let's pray to God that it works.

"...oh." Is all Kankri says for a few minutes. You don't talk, and neither does he. He looks down, in thought, and you continue looking at him with expecting white eyes.

"Alright then. As long as it is nothing more than a single kiss, I am still celibate but a mostly platonic kiss will not be as bad as something that has been asked of me before.

Oh my god. He leans over and- Oh my god. Oh. My. God. Is this real life.

Please don't let this be a...

Vantas-sea.

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You're welcome.