They don't know about us....

Chapter 17: Australia heart breakers

Lila's POV:

I don't know how to explain how i felt. But the only thing in my mind was how my my life changed completely. I felt guilty for doing this to Josh. He didn't deserve this at all. He deserved someone better. I knew what i was about to do will make him hate me. But i just couldn't do this. The trip to Australia would eventually get my mind off of things. At least i hope.

***

I called Josh and told him to meet me at the park. I got there a little bit early just to think, something i did a lot lately. As i was about to get on the swing i tripped and fell on my knee. Great. It was starting to bleed. I wiped the blood with an extra tissue i had in my purse. I managed to get on the swing a second time without falling. I sat on the swing rocking back and forth just letting all my feelings sink in. I didn't want to do this but i couldn't keep doing this to Josh. This would be for the best i kept replaying those words in my head.

***

Josh POV:

I was worried. Lila had called me and told me to meet her in the park. She didnt sound her cheerful self. I drove to the park with a thousand thoughts in my head. Did i do something wrong? Is she ok? what is happening? is there someone else? I shook it off and saw her sitting on a swing lost in her thoughts. I took a seat in the empty swing beside her and met my lips with her delicate and soft ones. She instantly kissed back like her whole world depended on it. I enjoyed it but i knew something was wrong. She backed away and hugged me with all her might.

"Lila what's wrong?" i asked while tugging a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Josh... we need to talk" She stuttered making contact with my eyes.

"Sure, what about" i nervously asked.

"Us..." she murmured while playing with her hands.

"Did i do anything wrong?" i quickly asked. I knew exactly were this was going and i didn't want it to happen. It couldn't i wouldn't let it. I loved Lila.

"No.." she smiled while grabbing my hand.

"That's the problem you never do anything wrong. I'm always messing up. You're perfect. You're have everything i ever wanted in a guy. You're charming, smart, funny. I-i don't deserve you Josh". Lila said while letting her tears come out of her beautiful eyes. A feature i loved about her, her eyes..

"T-this doesn't mean what i think it does right?" i murmured looking down at her small hands.

"..y-yes it does". She said looking at me.

"Why? Lila i can tell you don't want this. Why? I love you". I said while staring at her in disbelief.

"Josh i love you too and you know that. its for the best. I hate hurting you over and over again i can't cope with it. And i hate myself for doing this. And you probably hate me too" she cried.

"Lila please don't. I can't live without you. We can make it work together" i pleaded now in tears.

"Josh I'm sorry i-i can't" she stuttered.

"I love you" i cried once again gently connecting my lips with hers. She kissed back knowing it would be the last one together. She wrapped her arms around my neck and stayed in that position for a while letting all her tears out.

"Please don't hate me Josh" she whispered against my skin.

"I would never hate you Lila. And i will call you mine again. I'll never give up on you" i whispered, then kissing her forehead. And walking away with hurt.