Two Eyes Down: Nearsighted

Keyboard

Demi left for an awards show the night after the get together. She didn't tell me before so I wouldn't worry, so she decided telling me three hours before hopping on a plane to LA was a better plan. I strongly disagree with this logic, but that doesn't matter much.

I never bothered with awards shows, what's the point if you aren't familiar with who's there? Demi said it was the VMA's. She was nominated but was mostly going for her performance. She doesn't like award shows much. Too flashy and glamorous to her. When I asked what she was singing, Demi said Cool For The Summer. I, being the clueless idiot I am, had no clue what that was. Apparently Demi had a new song -and in not too long an album- on its way. Again, Demi didn't want to distract me from all the medical stuff so she didn't tell me it went number one on iTunes or that it was all over the radio. She just simply said "it's new, I like it, the fans love it. It's a new sound for me" and that was that. Demi's humble, always has, probably always will be. Humiliation does that to people.

As happy as I was for her, I still found an annoyance in her NOT distracting me from the doctors and surgeries. I got headaches with it all sometimes. I couldn't help but congratulate her when I did find out about it. Demi's been working hard. I didn't even know she had studio time usually. She went at night to spend days taking care of me.

I immediately wanted to hear it of course. So I opened the video app with the box and a play button. YouTube. What came up were recently watched videos, of which none of them I actually did. Usually, it's one of my friends being cheap with their battery so they use mine instead. I pressed the blank bar to search for Demi's new song but then I realized. I can't. The keyboard is of a foreign language to me, forming words with them is impossible. Before I knew it I was in tears. Demi had to calm me down for ten minutes, rocking me back and forth in her arms. She didn't know why or how, but she held me anyway. Shaky and unsure of herself, she sat behind me. Sobbing and unsure of myself, I stayed put. Eventually she mustered the courage to ask what was on my mind. I just glared at the phone with a blinking line and buttons with symbols like it was a bully. A bully that could not speak, that could not touch, but could still hurt me with every nonexistent breath of silence. Demi typed it for me, I watched as her fingers danced across the keys with ease. I moved just a little bit away from her, feeling lesser to her with every tap. Demi kept coming to the maximum closeness she could where I wouldn't run away, her arms reaching in front of me with the phone on its side with a video loading. She was hot, the song was hot, the video was hot. Demi was never this sexual before. It wasn't towards me, so it's not like I minded much, but I did feel a hint of unease that others would sexualize her. I didn't like that. Like Horton the elephant almost said, "a person is a person, no matter how sexual".

All Demi did before leaving was kiss my cheek once, say I love you twice, and took three long strides into a white vehicle. Then she was gone. I went back inside, closed the front door behind me  and looked up the stairs next to me. The door was closed up there too. I am alone on the outside too I guess.

I manage my afternoon and night like I used to. Do nothing until sparked by something. I didn't expect that. I asked everyone not to text me, although I did not explain why. I said if it's so important, call. I was on movie number four of my chick flick movie marathon when -without warning- my door opened and closed before someone with heavy footsteps. Looking over and pausing mean girls, I saw the scrawny blonde boy. Nate.

"Wow this seen is sad".

"Thanks, man".

"I expected Demi to keep you company".

"She couldn't. VMAs. What do you need?"

"Nothing. I was just gonna ask if you wanted to play sorry". Then, Nate pulled out a box with a small collection of symbols on the front. Despite feeling like shit and not wanting much contact from people, I said yes. Nate read my cards for me and I won two out of three games. He's more fair then anyone I know, aside from Jenny.

"So what's been up with you? Haven't seen you since the hospital". I asked, silently thanking him for the ice cream he handed me with a nod.

"Work, school, work work work" we both laugh " and talking to the boys. They really miss you".

"If they missed me they'd be here". I state, looking down at my hands.

"They want to, especially Aiden. He's only there because Dylan needs support right now. Dylan's distraught. He really thought he had a chance until Demi came into the picture. Even then, he thought he could win you over for a while. Dylan just has to come to terms with himself and his emotions. He'll be alright and this whole thing will be over soon, ok"?

I nod, still upset but reassured by "this whole thing will be over soon". I'm accustomed to talking to both Aiden and Dylan almost daily. It's been nearly a week already. It's like some little part of me is missing. Not my heart, that belongs to Demi and -if I ever meet her- Jennifer Lawrence. Not my mind, that's mine. It's a little piece of each eye that's missing. I can see, but I can't see everything.

Maybe that's what sucks the most. Getting everything you ever wanted, but then watching something that meant so much slipping right through your fingertips.
----------------------------------------------vote, comment, share, and follow if you like. I love interacting with readers so don't be shy to pm me!