Two Eyes Down: Nearsighted

Funeral of Swing

We all wore black to attend Swing's memorial service. Dylan brought the endless packets of information on his case and general  cases of HIV and AIDS to keep him busy. No one had the heart to tell him Nate was gone while he was being bombarded in the hospital trying to figure himself out. He found out the night after he was discharged when we all had dinner together.

"Where's Nate", he asked.

"Not here", Aiden said quietly.

"He can't even bother to come to dinner with us? He can't provide for himself", he grumbled.

"He couldn't come. That's not his fault", Monica said.

Everyone seemed to take turns speaking, to afraid to speak up and say it straight to the handicap-able man. His anger and frustrations rose higher than anyone expected, but with it so did mine. While is tension gave off through voice in the air above the dining table, mine rose through heavy breathes and eyes that couldn't push out the tears in them. Demi took my hand and squeezed, but that did nothing.

"Well god damn it why can't the bastard show up, Huh?  We're all tired, but here we are, where is he?!"

"He's dead", I yelled, the thickness of my throat noticeable, "Nathan is fucking dead you insulting asshole. We're all hurting in different ways. There is no need for your endless bullshit on one subject-"

"You're hurting, huh? You had someone to throw themselves in danger to save your life. You would be dead if it wasn't for Demi. The deepest glass in her was right next to her spine. She could have been paralyzed. That would have hit you in the heart and killed you. I had no one. Even if I did, I'm already dying. I'm signed off already", he growls.

"Grow a pair, Dylan. Just because you drunkenly had sex with some whore that got it from some other carrier doesn't make you one for all the pity. You know very well that-"

"Enough", Demi screams, "stop this fucking fighting. Your friend has passed and you fight each other? I expect more from both of you. Nate is gone. This isn't how you should make up for his absence". This would be the first time I see Demi cry over Nate's loss. From that night forward we did not speak of Nathan Paul Everett. Not all together and certainly not directly.

Dylan was confined to a wheelchair, so he had his little speech in his lap as Aiden pushed him. Monica and I were the other ones to speak. I didn't want to, but Demi reminded me why I was going to be walking down a path surrounded by headstones at ten o'clock on a Saturday morning. So now I'm here with a piece of paper Demi typed for me.

There were more people than I expected. I couldn't count them, but it was a good amount. His whole family was here, along with a few other friends. We stood by Alex and Wayne, two buddies of ours we lost touch with. Wayne used to be Monica's boyfriend, actually, but his decision to go to training into the army in hopes of being on the front lines worried her too much. Nate's sister Kelsey was there, I met her before, but I didn't recognise her until I heard her voice. Then she noticed me and came over, giving me a hug.

"I can't believe you're here", she said, "and you can see".

"I wouldn't miss this for the world, even when truly believing none of us should be here", I respond.

She wipes a lose tear. "Only the good die young".

"That would explain why the rest of us are still alive".

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were a part of the wreck. I was just told Nathan passed". There is a slight hesitation in her words, like she thought every syllable three times over. "Was it-was it gruesome".

"Very, but I can't give oh details. I couldn't live with myself". She nods, and then she had to go back to her parents area because the ceremony was beginning.