Two Eyes Down: Nearsighted

Base Zero

Monica, Katia and I helped Dylan clean up the place. I thought I'd go back to four senses to be honest. Three trash bags of vodka, beer, and what ever other alcoholic bottles and cans, with four partly finished cigarette packs and a bong filled with dirty water on the side later we were left at base zero. Dylan can handle the rest. Next was putting the bigger challenge back to starting point, Dylan himself. We had him shower twice and use a large glob of conditioner too. When he got out he brushed his teeth and the mats out of his hair, coating himself in confidence in a can. No matter how much he put on he still smelled faintly of pity and hopelessness. In all of this, he never said a word. He did as he was asked, nothing more, nothing less. The scowl never faded, never even faltered. He was far below zero.

When the other girls left, I told him that he needs to resolve things with Demi. Not only that but talk to her about how he feels and why all of this has happened over the course of our relationship, All the way up to him sitting in front of her. She knows addiction more we all think, more than I know the color black, and more than he knows the feeling of looking into an empty bottle and reaching beside himself for another one. All he did was nod, smirk a mask of happiness, and guide me out.

Demi was at my house when I got back. The relief on her face was overwhelming. "Oh thank god", she exclaimed though a sigh holding me to her by my upper torso, "Jenny told me about Dylan and what I missed. Can I help you, him, anything?"

"Actually", I laughed a little in nervousness," I need a couple things from you". And that's how the rest of the night went. It was awful tossing her past in her face and asking for it to be thrown in Dylan's too, but she agreed without much debate. Then she went home at one thirty in the morning. I offered to take the couch but she said she felt bad. Probably not as bad as me though.

Nate came over a few days later. Dylan was in the car to go out to lunch with him and they wanted to make plans to have a night out and a chat. It was not an option for me to go out, but I was promised pancakes so I was ok with it. I was not ok with interrupting Demi's schedule, but the second I said Dylan was riding shotgun she took off like a bullet into the back.

The ride was quite, that was until Demi flipper shit when another one of her hit songs came on. It was about being confident or kick ass, somethings she is now and is very proud of it. When we had to stop for a red light, the car swayed with her hips and thumped with my heartbeat. It sang like her, it danced like her, and I felt like the old car of Dylan's. About to have a heart attack and way to small to hold the occupants throwing a party inside me.

We made small talk eating dinner, even Dylan contributed. When we went back to his place, Demi said the first thing to set her number one reason for being here out in the open. "Nate, can you take Natalie to the lobby to get a drink? She's been craving the thing she likes all day", (no I haven't), "I'll take Dylan inside".

Twenty minutes later I had a bag of chips for Dylan and a water for Demi when she came back out. She didn't look happy, but not particularly sad either. Just grim, she kissed my cheek, but for the first time I felt nothing. I gave her the water, went in, gave the chips to Dylan and bade farewell. At the end of the day, I had a silent Demi and plans next Saturday for the four of us to go out for a night of fun. Not any dirty fun, but squeaky clean, eight year old us fun, with dinner and bowling and arcading, all on the boardwalk. I had to admit, I was excited for normality. Demi made everything in my life exciting and full of color, but everything has been kicking sand.

Nate dropped us off at my place. Her car was at the studio so we had to get it tomorrow. "I'll get the couch", I stated as I snatched a blanket from a closet.

"No, I will. It's your bed, you should use it"

"I'm ok with a little change".

"Natalie, go to bed. Your bed".

I sigh, knowing winning this is impossible. I might as well start to rebuild our bond. I take her hand and lead her with me under the sheets. She tries to leave, but I place my hand on her abdomen quietly, and she settles for the absolute edge of the left side.

"What did you tell Dylan? You were shaken up" I asked curiously.

"I told him about myself and my struggles, but I mostly listened to his long term battle with himself and the toxins. That was what scarred me. Did you know that he has a past with this? It's not you".

"It's not just me", I correct," but yeah. Weed was a big thing for him back in the day, alcohol too. This is a record low though".

"Jenny gave a summary, and it was sad but hearing him tell me what his thoughts and feelings were, that hit me. Him finally saying the words I'm sorry, I forgive you just made me realize he put himself through hell and is now apologizing for it. It made me feel better, but sad at the same time. He forgave me for something I didn't do, which he explained. He cried when he told me we need to do this together.." And she trailed off, soon falling asleep. So I payed down and tried to do the same, but I had to stay up to silence my night terrors until I was in a pit of darkness with only Demi to hold. It's always coldest in the night.
----------------------------------------------uneventful, but a little break I the action can be good. Vote, comment, share and follow if you like. :) don be shy