Rules of Escape

Chapter 26 - Ana

"The only thing that matters, is what you do today," Ro says. "What do you want to do today?"

Ana stops shredding newspapers and looks at Ro out of the corner of her eye. Ro has not taken off her jacket and is standing in front of Ana watching her.

The only thing Ana has thought about doing lately is learning how to read. For some reason, Evan seems to think learning to read is so important; but today, Ana just sees a fog of grey when she looks at the newspaper which is why she is now ripping the paper into small shreds.

Ripping paper is quite satisfying, Ana thinks. It's like: I see you, but I'm not going to read you. Instead, I'm going to destroy you. Why do I have to do so many things before I can even hope to live at The Place? Evan said he would come back for me, but it has been months since I last saw him. He has forgotten about me. He's free and now he doesn't care about me.

"Today," Ro repeats. "What do you want to do today?"

"Car ride," Ana says. Ana signs car on the off chance Ro doesn't understand her speech. Most people don't understand Ana when she tries to talk.

"Anywhere special?" Ro asks.

Ana shrugs her shoulders. The Place. The Place would be really good. Evan would be so surprised.

"Have you been to see your friend, Evan?" Ro asks.

Ana looks up with surprise, and shakes her head. No, I want to though.

"Do you know where he lives, now?" Ro asks.

If I did, do you think I'd be here? Ana shakes her head again and resumes her paper shredding.

"He's moved recently. If I can find his new address, do you want to visit him?"

Ana shrugs her shoulders. You won't be able to find Evan's new address. He lives out of town.

Ro checks her watch. "We have just under eight hours. That should be enough time. I'll make some phone calls. Find out where he lives and grab some food for dinner. You tidy up the papers so I don't get in trouble for leaving the house in a mess."

Wait, wait, wait! What did you say about papers and dinner and seeing Evan? I can't understand all your words. What did you ask me to do? Ana looks down at the shredded paper, sees a partially ripped paper, and completes the job.

Her head has been mildly hurting for about a week. The night staff found pills stuck in the bathroom sink and since then, staff have been diligent about ensuring Ana take all her medications.

"Your paper. Clean it up," Ro repeats.

Slowly, Ana bunches her papers together and stands up. She puts the papers in the recycling can by her desk, carefully carries the overflowing can outside, and dumps all the newspapers in a large recycling bin. She watches a few strands of paper escape, fluttering in the wind for a brief moment before joining a pile of leaves dancing in circles beside the fence.

Ana feels like she is moving through water. Her head feels foggy as she takes off her slippers and shoves her feet into shoes. Fortunately, being medicated seems to be getting easier to deal with. It's like her body is getting used to the medication and consequently, the medication doesn't seem to affect her as much as it did a few days ago.

Ro comes out of the kitchen with a bag of food and water bottles. She has the journal in her hand.

"I have Evan's address, and it says in the journal that you had Olanzapine six hours ago," Ro says. "But I'm guessing you just took it a little while ago, right?"