Thoughts of a Scared Liar

You know what my problem is?

There are approximately 6 billion people in the world and no one understands me.

Worst, no one is even trying.

And I'm not even putting a barrier. I'm as open as anyone can be.

Yet no one understands. No one is trying.

Buti ka pa En. Parang wala kang problema.

Gayahin nyo si En! Puro tawa lang. Chill chill lang.

Someone described me before, En is very dependable. You can always count on her.

Dapat kagrupo natin si En! Kailangan natin ng open-minded at understanding sa grupo.

Sabi ng teacher namin, Choose your leader.

Sila: Si En po ma'am/sir!

En patulong please!

[Okay]

Thank you. I owe you one.

But have you ever repaid me? I'm not asking you to really pay me but if you would, have you?

No one asks me if I'm sad.

No one asks me if I'm okay.

No one offers their help.

No one dared comfort me.

No one understands.

Close na ata kami ni No One. Lagi kasi syang anjan para sakin.

Me: I'm okay.

Them: Buti naman. Akala namin may problema ka e. [Walks away]

Them: How can you be so strong?

Me: I bare with it. Ngitian mo lang.

I am so strong. I am so damn strong. I basically need No One in my life.

Siguro naman may nakakaintindi sakin. Kawawa naman ako kung wala talaga. Pero nasan sila?

Kung naiintindihan nyo 'ko, iparamdam nyo please.

I'm about to break out.

I am dying. Not literally. But slowly and surely ... dying.

You know what my problem is?

I'm not quite sure if the real problem is that no one really understands me.

Or

Baka naman I'm not worth it.

Or

Maybe I'm actually really fine and I need no one to understand me.