Thoughts of a Scared Liar

You are ...

Funny.

One of my classmate is totally head over heels for Mikael.

Funny.

Earlier, tinanong nya ako kung bakit daw ba kasi sa lahat ng pwede nyang magustuhan, si Mikael pa?

Anong malay ko sa nararamdaman nya diba?

I politely answered, "Hindi naman kasi nauutusan yung feelings ng tao."

Yuck. Bullocks.

As if that's true. It's all in the brain. Nauutusan naman yung puso e.

If you conditioned yourself to 'not' feel anything about someone, it will translate.

I was curiosed so I asked, "Ano bang nagustuhan mo dun?"

Ang sagot n'ya, "Hindi ko rin alam, e. Nung una attracted lang ako sa height and looks nya pero habang tumatagal parang nag iba yung feelings ko. Pero hindi ko talaga alam kung anong meron sa kanya na sobra kong nagustuhan."

Well, something we can't define is scary. That includes our feelings.

And Mikael? Attractive height? Attractive looks? My classmate must be blind.

Nakakatawa pa kasi hindi lang sya ang nagkaka-gusto kay Mikael. Marami pa. Kahit taga ibang department nagkakagusto sa kanya. Wtf.

Kesyo he's charming and polite. Responsible and friendly. A good leader and an approachable schoolmate. Pfft.

She asked me, "Ikaw, En? Madalas mo s'yang kasama sa council kaya for sure mas kilala mo sya."

Just because people spend time together it doesn't mean that they are inclined to bond and form friendship. What I have with that germ is pure civility because I cringe everytime he's near.

I don't know why and it scares me.

Sinagot ko sya ng 'ok lang. Gentleman naman.'

But no. Gusto kong sabihin na isa syang narcissistic, famewhore, liar, and a people pleaser asshole.

You know the relationship between Magellan and Lapu-Lapu who basically hate each other?

I am a Lapu-Lapu for Mikael who's Magellan. Wala pa s'yang ginagawang masama pero kumukulo na agad ang dugo ko sa kanya.

Yung feeling na, ayoko namang magalit sa kanya dahil civil rin naman sya sakin pero hindi ko maiwasan na galit pa rin yung maramdaman ko. You ever think about that?

No. You probably only think of yourself.

I want to say that to the world. Gusto kong malaman ng buong mundo na iritang irita ako kay Mikael.

But I didn't.

We continued talking about my classmate's Mikael and only stopped when he entered the classrom.

He gave us his famous smile and slightly bowed pagdaan nya sa gilid namin.

Kilig na kilig naman 'tong classmate ko.

Kainis.

Bakit ba hindi nila makita na marami s'yang tinatago? Those kind of people are dangerous.