Thoughts of a Scared Liar

Gusto Kong Marinig

Kung naiintindihan mo ako, masasabi mo ang mga salitang gusto kong marinig.

Vice versa, hindi porke mahalaga ka sakin e maiintindihan na kita. I am not a mind reader. I cannot feel what you feel. I can only give you emphaty. Most importantly, I wouldn't understand kung hindi mo sasabihin.

Right?

Kaya wtf, sisters?!

"Naiintindihan kita," ate said.

Huh? Ikaw din? Our youngest sister already told me that.

If you really understood, you could've uttered the word, "okay," because even if you don't mean it, that's what I want to hear.

It would mean that: atleast you tried to accept my point.

And my point is: I want out.

Out of this fucking house. Out of my program. Out of my friends' grasp. Out of our parents' standards. And out of you two's expectations.

And no. I am not exaggerating.

I mean it.

Literally.

I want to get away from other people's shits and build my own shits to deal with that I could be proud of.

But no. You ruined my fucking spirit when you said, "naiintindihan kita."

I don't want to hear that.

Know why? Because no one would.

Back then, I really want someone to understand me but now I've changed because I realized that it's impossible.

It is inappropriate to say that you understood someone because that's imposible. The brain can comprehend, the skin can feel other's vessel, the eyes can only see the face and expression, the ears can only hear what is said, and our nose can't even smell other's feelings- our senses is limited. Saying, "I understand you," is a complete bullshit to the feelings of others. Why must we take their feelings lightly? We clearly don't understand and we'll never do.

"Naiintindihan kita."

Ayokong marinig yan.

Stay away.

JUST SAY WHAT YOU REALLY FUCKING WANNA SAY. MAYBE AS LONG AS I'S THE TRUTH, THEY'D WANT TO HEAR IT.