Crash - Guns N Roses Fanfiction

FOURTEEN

AN/ in honour of mr. popcorn's birthday, I present to you... an early update!!!
happy birthday steve (:

"Cassie... I--I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You're not even awake. Good night, Cass." he kissed my forehead. Steven walked to the door, opening it. I heard Tommy scurry out and down the hallway.

No... don't go...! I wanted to tell Steven. Should I? I was really considering it, and I wasn't going to, until I sneezed, and then I didn't have to.

Steven jumped at the sound, spun around quickly, with a hand still on the door handle.

"Cassie?" Steven looked like he had no clue how to react. Honestly, I don't think I would have either.

I stared at him with wide eyes after I'd shot up in bed because of the shock from my sneeze.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked quietly.

Should I tell the truth...?

"You heard me, didn't you?" he said.

Hell, he practically already knows. "...yeah."

"Oh," he smiled sheepishly. I smiled back slightly at the sight of his childish grin. Oh, how I missed his smile. "That's embarrassing."

"No, don't worry," I told him, hopping off the bed and walking up to him. I enveloped him into my arms, and he gladly squeezed me back. "It's okay."

"No it's not," his voice quivered. "I'm a terrible person. You should hate me. Why aren't you mad?" he held me out in front of him, and I wiped tears that were threatening to fall away from his eyes. Just now was I realizing that I, too, was crying.

"Don't say that," I said breathily, shocked he would ever think that of himself. "You're amazing. You're so kind."

"Why aren't you mad?" he repeated quietly, before I could say anything else.

I shrugged, clueless. "I must really care about you," I laughed awkwardly.

He tittered back. "I must really care about you, too. I don't cry over much."

My heart fluttered, and I caught myself before saying how much I missed him, how much I cared about him. There was a moment of silence--not awkward, but comfortable. I bit my lip, not knowing what to say next. I knew I wanted him to stay with me, but I didn't know how to say that without me sounding needy or like I'm rushing into things.

"So... d'you know where you're staying tonight...?" I asked him quietly.

"Well, considering all the other sleeping areas in your house are occupied..." he scratched his head nervously, and pushed his sleeves down to cover his forearms. "...here?" he questioned with an eyebrow raised, clearly worried about my response. "I-if that's okay, of course..."

I smiled. "Y-yeah, of course. Sorry, that was a dumb question, wasn't it?"

He shrugged, smiling shyly. "It's okay..." Steven closed the door as he walked leisurely towards my bed. The anticipation was killing me, but I couldn't show him that. I scooted closer to the wall to give him space.

He sat on my bed and moved closer to me, resting an elbow on his pillow to support his head. I mirrored his actions. He was smirking. I smirked back.

"Hi, Cass."

"Hi, Steven."

"You can call me Steve."

"You can call me, er, Cassidy? I don't know."

"Is that your real name?"

"Yeah."

"Hi, Cassidy."

"Hi, Steve."

I chuckled. He chuckled back.

"What now?"

"What do you mean?" I questioned, my brows furrowing lightly.

"Well, I don't want to sleep."

"...I do." a lie. I wanted to stay awake all night, for the rest of life, if it meant being with Steven.

"Can you help me sleep then?"

"How?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Like this," he said, circling an arm firmly around my waist, and the one that was under his head snaked under my neck. I gasped quietly from his quick and sure movements.

"If you want," he whispered, his breath tickling my skin and moving a few strands of hair, "I could do this," moving closer, he applied slight pressure on the back of my head to make my head fit into the crook of his neck perfectly. Steven tucked some hair behind my ear and murmured, "but only if you want...", kissing the top of my head.

I sighed happily and nodded my head, yes, curling a hand over him, the other remaining beneath me, my fist resting under my chin.

Something felt wrong, but not awkward. It was confusing; I'd wanted this so bad, and now that it was there, something was terribly incorrect. It was incomprehensible. Nevertheless, I remained silent and still, breathing in Steven's sweet scent--cigarettes and cheap cologne and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on.

There was a long silence. So long, in fact, I'd thought he'd fallen asleep.

"D'you... do you forgive me?" Steven asked me quietly, clearly hesitant. I wondered if he even knew whether I was awake or not, it sounded so much like he was just testing the words on his tongue.

I paused to "think" for a moment. I didn't actually have to think, but I didn't want to freak him out about being so excited that he's back or anything. I nodded into his chest.

"Was that a yes?" he said, seemingly very much happier now.

I giggled, nodding again. He took me by my shoulders, holding me out, and sat up slightly. He was grinning from ear to ear--even more than he usually would--raising his eyebrows in delight.

"Seriously?!"

I smiled at his goofiness. "Seriously."

"Oh, thank God!" he exclaimed, causing me to put a hand over his mouth, shushing him.

When I took my hand away, he stared at me with something that look like a combination of lust, wonder, and curiosity. I pondered at what little Stevie could be thinking about, but didn't have to once I felt his lips against mine.

Now I know what he was thinking about.

No matter how much I wanted to continue, take it further even, I knew I couldn't. Shouldn't--technically, I could. I pulled back as quickly as he went in.

"S-sorry," we both said in unison. We chuckled nervously. "It's okay," another awkward laugh from the two of us.

I stared at him. He stared back. I recognized the look in his eyes--the same one he had not seconds before. Quickly flipping onto my side, I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding in.

Holy, fuck.

--

ooh la la

scandalous

who do you want her to be with in the end? keep your mind open to all the band, just because things are going well with steven for the time being doesn't mean anything, really, things could get fucked up so I'd like to know your first choice.

so please give me some feedback if you don't mind...

-megan xx