Finding Jess

Chapter 15 - How To Say Goodbye

As soon as my mom got home, Harry left.

"Hi sweetie." My mom said as she walked up the driveway. Why was she walking?

"Don't 'hi sweetie' me." I snapped.

"What did you expect me to say?" She said cluelessly.

"Oh nothing. Maybe just: We're moving to London, oh you cool with that?"

"Love I was going to tell you but..."

"But! But what?!" I said throwing my hands in the air. "Why mom, Why?"

"I...I just couldn't send you back to that school." She said looking at her feet. From all that I knew she probably felt like the worst mother ever. The guilt over flooded her face. "Megan won't even be expelled, just suspended. Her dad is some type of lawyer." She continued.

"What?! That's fucking messed up!" I yelled as my mother's facial expressions quickly escalated to somewhat shocked and or surprised. "Sorry." I replied quickly referring to my cursing.

"It's alright." She said not bothered by my use of inappropriate language.

"This is just so unfair." I cried out hopelessly.

"I know. That's why I've decided, if there's nothing we can do, we'll have to leave." She said looking deep into the two black, dead, faded, holes of mine you call eyes.

"Why? Why does it matter now?" I choked down the lump in my throat. "All of sudden.Why do you suddenly care?" I held back my voice, for I knew it would come out screaming if I didn't.

"Because I don't want you to live your whole life like this." Her mood fell in pain. "I want to give a better life. "I want to give you the life you deserve... not the one given to us when you were five."

"I've already lived most of it like this... so why stop now?" I said with a growing voice and growing anger. "It won't make much of a difference."

"Well I love you and I want all of this to come to an end." She said soothingly. "Ans you can't change my mind. It's final!" She suddenly snapped making sure I wouldn't reply.

"Ugh!" I said realising my defeat. "I'm taking a walk!" With that I darted down the street, ignoring anything else that my mother had to say. I guess she just went along with it, because she didn't put up much of a fight to stop me. In fact she didn't even try.

I had to go somewhere to cool off, to let it all sink in, to feel okay. We all know how impossible that is. My mind had no idea where it was going or on what adventure it would get lost on, but my feet did. I say this, because before I knew it, I blinked a I was infront of Brad's house. I've never been inside it before, but I knew perfectly well where it was.

I rang the dinging doorbell a few times before realising no one was home. Why would they be? School only came out about five minutes ago. So I sat on Brad's porch, covered with a thin layer of ice. It was quite chilly since I had no coat and my arms were bare, sitting in slightly snowy weather. I wish I'd wore something warmer or brought a coat, since my butt was freezing!

I sat in the tranquillity of his porch, hugging my knees and rubbing my arms searching for heat. Now that I think about it, if it weren't for the weather, sitting here would be quite relaxing. My mind went across everything that happened in this past week, by the time I got to the end of it - I found myself sobbing in my hands. Numb. With no feeling left in a fibre of my being. I lost it all.

Suddenly, I felt an icy touch on my shoulder, brushing slightly against my colourless, pale cheek. Never mind! I winced at the frigid touch - I could still feel that! I looked up through my blood-shot red eyes filled with tears, where I found Brad to be leaning down looking at me with worry filled eyes. He shook the snowflakes from his luscious, curly dark lock. I must have zoned out or something, because his car was parked infront of the house and I hadn't noticed.