my little parts

Criticism is too important

do you know how i feel? how i wake up every morning. i try so hard to be something better, a plastic version of myself. I smear makeup on and I burn my hair straight just to fit in. i stare at every flaw of myself in order to correct it. will you ever understand? i crticise myself so hard so you don't have to. so you can look at the Barbie version of me and think 'she is so beautiful' but im hiding. I'm hiding beneath my makeup a face that has been cried upon and screamed upon. all I am is a facade. underneath my perfect striaght hair, is a scalp full of scars all symbolizes the hurt and sorrow I've felt. I hide this from you to prevent you from pitying me.  I want to perfect and pretty, just for you. I try so hard but you say I am not who you thought I was.. I never knew hiding myself, protecting you, was bad. i am a hero. but I am fake. I pretend. everyone does this. when you first meet someone, the first impression is the lasting impression. you strive to be perfect to leave the perfect imprint upon strangers or lovers. we all complain about fake friends when it's not the overall issue. it's fake people. we ALL hide flaws, always trying to make ourselves perfect. please don't crticise yourself. you are beautiful because you are so fucking imperfect. i thought I always wanted to meet the perfect guy, but I don't. I want a guy who doesn't hide. be someone who doesn't hide. show who you are and your impression will last on those who matter most, or at all. don't criticize yourself.