£1.50 • hs

Chapter 38

Please don't hate me...It's late...again.... 

Sorry but this term is crazy bust cause i'm about transition into my senior years and that means even more work which i'm not really up for but oh well. 

ALSO SOME NEWS... 

Iv'e been working a fic (another au cause that's all I seem to write) and I won't be posting it til next year unfortunately  however i'm hoping to post the synopsis later this year so you guys can check it out. 

I have heaps of ideas that Iv'e written down but either they're hard to write or I just can't find the time so please be patient but a new one should be coming to you early next year :) x

Anyway enough form me....Enjoy! xx 

***

'You two seem happy.'

I stop clearing the table and look at her. It doesn't sound sincere, I know Mia and I can tell she's irritated with something.

'We are.' I say quietly.

'That's good.' She walks towards the kitchen and dumps the plates in the sink.

I look up at her and she's staring straight at me. I never know how to deal with Mia when she has strong emotions, she doesn't show them often but even when she does she's not clear about them and It makes it hard for me to sort it out with her.

I sigh, 'what's going on with you? Just talk to me Mia.'

Her face forms a frown, 'so now you want to talk to me?'

I walk over to her confused. 'What are you talking about? I've been trying to talk to you for ages but you just shut me out.'

She rolls her eyes, 'you didn't try very hard.'

I slightly laugh because what she's saying is a joke and can't help but raise my voice as now she's getting on my nerves, 'what do you want from me Mia? What do you want me to do?'

'I want my old friend back!' She yells at me.

I can't help but look at her in bewilderment, 'what are you talking about?'

'You're not the same person I knew a few months ago.' She says eyeing me from head to toe.

I lean against my back against the bench and cross my arms, 'Apart from the fact that I'm dating Harry and I'm a bit more confident within myself nothing has changed.'

She laughs, 'Lylah, don't confuse confidence with being selfish.'

My mouth hangs open, 'what the fuck Mia, how am I being selfish. I've done nothing but been supportive of you from day one.'

We're both yelling now but I don't care. All the silent stares and awkward conversation has led up to this and I'm glad we're getting it off pour chest but deep down I don't like where it's going.

'Bullshit! Where were you when I broke up with Matt?' She crosses her arms and looks at me. 'Oh wait I remember' she smiles, 'you were with Harry.'

I rub my hands down my face, 'first of all I was there for you, you just distanced yourself from me and second of all, last time we had a full conversation you were pissed at me because apparently I wasn't being good enough for Harry so I worked on my confidence to make it work between him and I.'

She shakes her head, 'I never said you weren't good enough for him. What I was saying is exactly the same as before, is that you're being selfish. And you never used to be.'

'I'm selfish!' I question, 'you're the one who isn't happy for me. You're just jealous I have a boyfriend and you don't.'

'I'm jealous? Of you?' She shakes her head, 'wow you're really delusional.'

I look away and try to hide to tears welling up, I know that was mean of me to say and sounded pretty pathetic once I said it out loud but she's being horrible, I don't know why she's saying all these things. I've seen her irritated but she's never acted like this before.

'Why can't you be happy for me?' I say, my voice breaking.

A few moments of silence pass and I see her bite her lip and look at the floor, 'Lylah, it used to be us against the world but now he's your world and no one else matters.'

'That's not true.' I exclaim.

I see tears cover her eyes and she shakes her head at me not saying anything.

'I don't know what you want me to do.' I say quietly.

Her hands run through her hair, 'I need some space from all this, I-I can't be around all this.' She looks at her hands. 'So I decided...I'm moving in with Chelsea and Rick for a little while.'

What?

I almost choke on my spit and have to pause for a second, 'you're moving out?' I exclaim.

She nods.

'You can't move out!' I say, 'Mia, how can I afford to stay here if you're not paying any rent?'

She shrugs 'you're smart, you'll work it out.'

I shake my head; I can't believe this is happening.

'When are you moving out?' I ask.

'I've already packed most of my stuff...I'll be gone by dinner tomorrow.'

I nod and press my lips together to try and not cry. We've never had a falling out like this before and it's stupid, the whole thing just doesn't make sense. I don't know why we just can't move on from it but she's moving out now and I don't think I can stop her.

Mia turns around and starts washing the dishes. I walk to my room; I don't even want to look at her right now. My chest feels heavy as I grab my phone from my desk and sit on my bed.

I want to talk to Harry because I know he'll make everything okay but I know he'll ask questions which I don't want to answer.

I don't call Harry.

I'm too upset to even talk to anyone, I don't want to talk. The thought of words leaving my mouth right at this moment makes me want to throw up.

I don't bother getting changed as I lie on my bed and wait for sleep to take over.

But it doesn't, as Mia's words continue to come to my attention, "It used to be us against the world, but now he's your world."

I know what she means by that but I don't know what to think of it.

I do love him and from the sounds of it he loves me and he has been my biggest support system at the moment unlike Mia.

He's challenged me without me realising and it's all been for my benefit and I'm so grateful for that.

He's been amazing and I don't know what I'd do without him.

The thought "I don't know what I'd do without him" pings a slight pain in my chest because I don't and Mia's right. He's my everything and I'm just one of the girls he's dated on a slowly growing list.

I'm just hoping to be the name at the bottom of that list.