£1.50 • hs

Chapter 41

I'm halfway through watching an episode of 'Orange Is the New Black' when I hear the buzzer for the front door go off.

Confused I walk over to the speaker and hold down the button, 'hello?'

'It's Harry.' He says sounding slightly out of breath.

I slightly smirk, 'shouldn't you be at your lectures?'

Harry slightly wines, 'Ly just let me in please.'

I laugh and give in, pressing the other button so he can open the door.

When Harry walks through my door I almost choke on my own spit.

He's got his hair tied back off his face while wearing running shorts, neon Nike shoes and no shirt as sweat drips down his chest.

'I-I've never s-seen you go running b-before.' I stutter and mentally slap myself for sounding so pathetic.

He shrugs, 'I just wanted to sweat out all the toxins.'

'What toxins?' I ask confused, he's got a pretty healthy diet unlike me who considers pancakes a notorious breakfast.

'I went out drinking with Niall and a couple of mates and I wasn't feeling the best this morning.' He chuckles

'Oh okay.' I say trying not to sound hurt. I know he has a life without me which I'm perfectly fine with but we are together and it hurts because he told me we was going to write with Niall at home but he still went out while he knew I was working.

'Who'd you meet up with?' I smile, trying to sound interested and not as jealous as I am.

He thinks for a second, 'Uh, Niall and Kylie who you've both met, James, Emma, Blake, Chase, Amanda and that's all I can remember...a few more joined us later but I can't remember it that well to be honest.'

I chuckle but I can't help the jealously running through my veins.

I hate this feeling so much, I don't want to be like this. Is this what it means to be a bitter jealous girlfriend? Because I don't want to be that person.

I hate how much feelings are coming out of this; I never know what to say or what to do and for the past few years I've been dealing with that by burying myself in my studies, staying at home and making excuses not to go out.

This is different, all my emotions are on display and I feel so exposed, and now I need harry to constantly drag me out the house and hang out with me, or provide me with some sort of reassurance I'm not alone in this. I'm not used to showing this much of me to anyone because I'm afraid I'm going to get shut out more so than I already am and that's my biggest fear with Harry.

I'm so pathetic. I'm his girlfriend, he wouldn't've of asked me out if he didn't feel a connection with me.

Right?

I look at Harry and him smiling down at me and all I want is reassurance that he's giving me all of him.

I look at his lips as he licks them slightly and slowly close the space between us.

Without much warning I kiss him hard on the lips.

He's taken a bit aback but instantly locks his tongue with mine and holds the sides of my face.

He pushes up against me and I can feel the heat coming off his chest instantly warming me up.

I walk back slightly, trying to lead him to the couch. He takes the hint and we both walk over there not breaking contact the whole way.

I wrap my arm around his neck and he holds me around the bottom of my back supporting me as he lowers me down.

I smile as he lies down kissing me while supporting his weight on his knees beside me, so he doesn't squish me.

Loving the feeling of his hands slightly grazing my sides, I run my fingers along his back emitting what I think is a sound of approval from Harry.

We continue our intense kissing and I try to bring my lower half up a bit to meet him so there's some other form of contact other than just kissing but it doesn't seem to work as he just moves back whenever my hips move forward.

He breaks from our heated kiss and kisses me on my forehead, while trying to get his breathing back to normal.

I bite my lips slightly and look him in the eyes.

'You look cute in your pyjama shorts.' He smiles.

Thanks?

Is that the compliment I'm supposed to be getting after that?

I smile and lean up to kiss him again, he meets my lips but only gives them a peck, 'Is it alright if I use your shower, I'm all sweaty.' He asks.

I nod too confused to even form a sentence.

He springs up off the couch and jogs over to the bathroom.

I usually take 'cute' as a complement but right now I don't think anything could be as condescending.

We were having a full on make out session and then he kisses me on the forehead and tells me I look "cute."

What the hell?

I'm enormously embarrassed and hurt than I was before.

We've been together for a while and we've never had sex, I used to think it was because we wanted to take things slow which I but now I'm not so sure if he's using it as a reason or an excuse.

Am I just overreacting? Lots of couples wait a while before being intimate...I think. But being attracted to someone and thinking someone is attractive are completely different things.

I try to shake the jealously settling inside me as I hear the shower turn off.

***

I check the time and see its 4 o'clock, so I decide I should start getting ready now.

Harry told me he invited a few people over to the gigs that aren't from our usual group, which I'm fine with I guess. But either way it's good for me to meet new people and socialise.

I get up from the couch and I hear harry whimper, 'where are you going?'

I slightly laugh, 'I have to get ready.'

'We don't have to leave for another hour.' He exclaims

I roll my eyes and walk towards my wardrobe, and put on the dress he convinced me to wear yesterday... at least it doesn't make me look "cute."

I shake the thought from my head and try it on.

The black fabric hugs my slight curves, the fabric feels a bit weird on my skin but it's not too bad.

I walk over into the bathroom and do my hair into a high ponytail with small strands on the side sticking out to make it look a bit messy and less formal.

I do my usual makeup foundation, eyeliner and mascara and decide to add a bit of bronzer at the end.

Once I finish I put on my black pumps carefully without trying to fall over when I hear my door click open.

While I'm putting on the second shoe I look up and see Harry walking through the door.

He sees me and stops, 'see I told you, you look fine.' I weakly smile, 'thanks.'

I can't help but wonder if "fine" is enough.

***

I hope you enjoyed that! :)

Last update I forgot to ask you what your favourite song from mitam is, personally mine is If I could fly bc I love sad songs for some weird reason. 

I would to hear what your favourite is, so please comment and tell me...and If you haven't listened to the album yet then I don't know why you're even here cause you're obviously not a fan.... ://

ANYway, have a good weekend! xx