Me and Niall went on are date. Definitely a night to remember and the after celebration was even better. My route to being 'normal' is hard. Daily panic attacks and mood swings. The morning after mine and Niall's night I collect all 7 bottles of my tablets and my collection of blades and disposed of them, well nearly all of them. I kept one blade.
We spent two days at home then had to return to the bus. I was determined not to ruin the rest of the tour. So as soon as I got there I sorted everything out. Well not really, I hugged them all individually, including the crew and 5sos and whispered sorry too them.
The only fault I can find with the rest of the tour is I need to start my fashion week project. I have 6 months to do it and I'm on tour for almost 5 of them period. The spare bunk is officially mine and is where I have images stuck on the wall and my sewing machine is.
"Guys you swear not to touch any of this?" I asked them as I sat at the table starting my mood board. Niall was sat opposite me watching me, he replied with a nod of the head. Louis was sat next to me and Liam sat next to Niall, they both mumbled a yes not looking up from their phones.
I need an inspiration. Desperately. The lads have been on tour a week and I still can't think of anything. I am going to be doing the summer collection so, I'll have to do ball gowns, summer dresses and body suits.
"Babe, c'mon help me think!" I wined like a child kicking his foot under the table.
"With what?"
"Think of a theme for me"
"BARBECUES!" He shouted causing me too look at him in shock and the other looked in confusion. I stayed silent wanting to his ridiculous ideas.
"Right... Everyone is wearing like - tight - like dress things that are brown and have a red line down the middle! They can be hot dogs!"
Louis legitimately dropped his phone and fell crying in laughter, Zayn patted Niall on the back in disappointment where as I stayed starting at him in utter shock. After a few seconds I doubled over in laughter. He sat there looking like a proud child thinking his idea was genius proof, but the look fell from his face when he saw even was laughing.
"B-bro was that serious?" I asked through fits of laughter
"No" he replied far too quickly causing us all to double over again.
"Guys we're at our stop" Joe shouted back at us.
"C'MON LET'S GO ADVENTURE!" I cried grabbing Niall's hand and pulling him up.
"But it's like 8 at night?" He said checking his phone
"That's why it's an adventure" I chuckled while grabbing the nearest huddie which happened to be a black WWAT Crew one and also happened to be a Large. And for an underweight girl I literally drowning in the jumper.
Me and Niall walked hand in hand talking about mullingar. I hadn't been there is ages. He told me he was planning on going to see his family when the tour finishes to which I asked if I could go with him. We stopped at the bridge when we noticed a steam train coming are way. It was beautiful watching this old fashioned train ride under us while we stood in the sunset.
"It's beautiful" Niall whispered looking at the sun set. I nodded my head.
"I can't wait to get to see this every night in a new place" I said in awe. Niall stayed silent for a second
"Make it your theme" He said quietly. I thought for a second.
"OH MY GOD NIALL YOUR A GENIUS!" I cried shaking his shoulders. I quickly took my phone and took a picture. Although the quality was not very good I could still distinctively see the colours.
I got a shooting pain in my chest and quickly flung my hands to the pain.
"Grace? Are you okay?" Niall asked panicked.
"Yeah, yeah I fine. Must be heart burn or something"
"Tell me if it happens again yeah?"
"Yes Niall" I said childishly.
"c'mon you" he huffed picking me up bridal styles and crying me back to the van.
"I got my theme!" I told everyone when I got back. Literally everyone cheered they must have been fed up of hearing me complain about it. I got Harry's Bluetooth printer and quickly printed out the picture with out him knowing. I ran to the spare bunk, ripped down all the colour ideas and past ideas and stuck up my actual idea.
"This is going to work" I whispered to my self. I'd done some research and found out I need to do 30 dresses and their is 28 dates of the tour left. Just under my needed amount but I decided I will just change the colour pallet on two of them.
I was sat with by back the bunk curtain, drawing on the wall with my design spider diagram. Suddenly two arms were rapped around my waste an I was pulled down. An almighty scream left my throat until I recognised it was Niall.
"Sorry" I whispered to him.
"Your getting there babe" he whispered back before pulling me onto his bunk.
"What are we doing ?" I giggled.
"Just chillin bro" he said in an attempt to be gangsta.
"Did you see what I put on Instagram?" He asked me
I looked at him confused before he nodded his head towards my phone which he was holding. I didn't even bother to ask why he had my phone.
I quickly typed in his name and tapped on his most recent image.
Fuck. That's cute.
It was a picture of me at the sunset before. My back was turned as I was taking a photo aswell and the caption was.
'She found her theme'
"Who new you were a photographer hey?" I joked. He rolled his eyes and told me to look at the other post.
The other post was a picture of me sleeping. And the caption was long.
'I am proud to call her my girlfriend. She has been through so much but is still so strong. I have watched her break and I have watched her stumble but I have also seen her succeed. Today she took it upon her self to grow out of her old self and become someone new. She's leaving the medication and the weapons and is facing the beauty and design. I am so proud of my drinking partner. Let's have another toast to the girl almighty"
I left my self become emotional as I hugged him.
"Thankyou" I said to him
"For what?"
"Not loosing hope"
