It's been a while, to say the least, since my outing with Jack and to be honest we haven't spoken since. Things just sort of faded which I don't really care about. Now I get to focus my attention on Matt.
My Christmas and new year was spent with Matt and I don't think it could've gotten any better. We're definitely closer than ever now — in more ways than one.
••• January 14
I stood in front of the mirror straightening my hair after getting out of the shower. My phone buzzed on the counter beside me and I picked it up to see an incoming call from Matt. I slide to answer straight away.
"Heyyy Hollister!" Matt's voice chirps through the phone and I let out a small chuckle.
"Hey loser, what's up?" I ask smiling
"Have you seen Sincerely Tumblr's recent tweet? Because it's goals and we're doing it tonight"
I scroll through my newest notifications and find a tweet from the Twitter account saying;
"just wanna drive to the beach in sweats & a blanket & sit on the shore w/ someone & have a deep convo enjoying the oceans view & sounds"
I smile at the idea and carefully put down the straightener, switching it off.
"Do you realise what this means?" I say to Matt, taking the phone off speaker and holding it to my ear.
"What?" Matt asks dramatically
"We are gonna be so many goals that I'm going to cry. No joke." I laugh
Matt chuckles under his breathe, "That's the point, silly! Be ready in your most comfortable clothing at 5, I'll bring the blankets"
"Ok" I smile
"Bye weirdo"
I hang up and throw my phone on my bed, falling flat on my face and letting out a happy sigh. I can't wait for tonight.
•••
Matt and I walk through the sand barefooted trying to find a spot to set down the blankets. We finally agree on a small spot near the water just before the sand starts getting damp.
"Wow, It's really cold here but the view is so amazing, thank you for doing this Matt" I smile softly, looking out at the pale blue sky with patches of pink staining it beautifully.
Matt didn't say anything, he just laid back completely and stared up at the sky, he looked like his mind was elsewhere and it was worrying me.
"Anyway," I try start a conversation to take my mind off of it, "I talked to my mom and she said she'll go halfs with me for Ariana tickets. Don't tell her but the second one is gonna end up being for you" I chuckled trying to lighten the mood.
Matt was staying silent and at this point it was just rude. I needed to find out why he actually took me here.
"Matt," I cringed as my voice came out quiet and weak "what's wrong?"
He let out a sigh of defeat and covered his face with his hands. I sat up on my knees and took one of his hands away, seeing him start to tear up. I pulled him quickly into a hug and he softly hugged me back, still keeping something to himself.
"There's something you're not telling me and I need to know" My voice was muffled by his shoulder.
"I..last week..I kind of.."
I pulled away not able to hear him clearly, "What was that?"
"I lost my virginity last week to one of the girls at that party," his voice was soft as he looked down at my hand in his. "I don't even remember who she is."
My heart felt like it dropped.
I pulled my hands away and looked at him in confusion. I know we weren't dating but what we had must've meant something to him.
"What, why? How? Do I mean nothing to you?!" I started raising my voice slightly, trying to replace my sadness with anger.
"Oh, come on Holly, it's not like we're actually dating! You don't even show any interest in me half the time!" I was completely taken aback by his statement.
"How could you possibly think I'm not interested in you? You're my everything! I care too much about yo—"
I was stopped when Matt pushed his lips to mine. He was pouring all his anger and emotion into this kiss, and fearing it might be our last I couldn't help but kiss back.
He pushed me back and hovered over me, reconnecting our lips and pressing his fingers into my hips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss before pushing him off.
"You fucked up," I breathed heavily, his face still close to mine, "big time."
"I know Holly, please, just let me make it up to you. I won't do it again. You're the only thing I want." Matt laid his forehead on mine and looked into my eyes, waiting for the response he wanted.
He can't redeem himself that easily.
-
Slowest updates ever yay.
This chapter is awful I'm sorry
-xoxo
